With 2010 coming to end and my journey to the UK now 5 (I think I'm so confused with the days anymore) days passed. It is time to me to write my final blog post...well final at least for this adventure.
Christmas will not be complete without looking back at a Rosalind Franklin Christmas that took place way back on December 12th. There was a sparkle in the air, the birds were chirping...ok that's all absolute and utter bull shit. I awoke from a crazy and fun night the night before, details of which are unnecessary to telling this story, to the great smell of our chickens Henrietta and Clucky in the over. For those of you that are wondering Clucky was the retarded chicken that sadly was put down because she was unable to lay eggs, she also wasn't as beautiful as her older sister Henrietta, so Laura tells me... Anyways, I began my morning by helping make snowflakes to decorate our window. I can't make a snow flake to save my life obviously because while everyone else had these really cool geometric details, mine was just a circle with a square and a few triangles in it. And naturally, everyone who walked into the kitchen was like "Look at all the snowflakes, except for the one in the top hand corner, who made that one!?" Way to embarrass me...
Next we started busting the bottles of Cava open (12 in all) and we went through every single one in a matter of hours. This led to numerous drunk dancing numbers including the Mocarena, the Cha Cha Slide, and some other dances I don't quite remember. And of course we danced on the chairs as usual. Then everyone on the floor came together for a nice meal of roast chicken, sausages wrapped in bacon, carrots, roast potatoes, parsnips, brussel sprouts, broccoli, cranberry sauce, stuffing, homemade gravy, mince pies, and cake. All washed down with, yes you guessed it Cava! Then afterwards we had our secret Santa's revealed and gifts distributed. I am still touched by my gift of the yard long box of Jaffa Cakes and the picture of all my flatmates (well the ones I love at least) in the London picture frame. Thanks Becca! Especially love how Zoe was put into the picture! All in all it was a wonderful day and it felt just like Christmas, and as an even added bonus Matt won X Factor. Oh I forgot there was one casualty, Will's mattress which wound up on the room a la The Hangover...
So now lets fast forward to this Christmas! Upon opening her gift of tea from Harrods my grandmother goes crazy and is like "OHHHHHHH Ryan this is from the place Princess Diana's boyfriend's father, that Dodi owns!" Yes we are that obsessed by Harrod's that we know it solely as the place Princess Diana's boyfriend's father, that Dodi owns. Yes yes I do know it is now owned by some Qataris since Dodi's father sold it last year. My mom and grandfather were satisfied with their sweatshirts. My Dad freaked me out because he was unsure if my brother was going to like his Adidas Olympic Shirt because the logo was shiny and then he told me that silly bands are apparently out of style. Thankfully he liked both of them. Real shame about the silly bands though, they haven't even caught on in the US. I am starting a cult Jaffa Cakes following here and within the year we will be a forced to be reckoned with. People across the US will be demanding stores supply Jaffa Cakes. As far as Christmas Pudding...its good, but its not like...great.... no offense...
And now I may get a bit emotional (if its possible to do so via electronic typing). I would like to thank everyone across the pond for giving me some of the craziest, and quite possibly greatest, three months of my life. Sure there were some low points along the way, but hey that is a part of life and that happens. Looking back on it, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Each person that I met while studying abroad has touched me in some way from the people I love to the people who annoy the hell out of me. I know I'm starting to ramble, but I just wanna say that I love each and every single one of you and I can't wait to come back (there will be a reunion believe me, I have an incurable addiction to traveling) and get "shagged" abroad again!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Stranded Part 2: So You Like Jaffa Cakes?
After 5 days I believe there has been enough time for me to recount the horrors that was being stranded in London thanks to Richard Branson and BAA's inability to remove snow, so here it goes...
Morning Dec 21: I wake up at 9:15AM to hear the cleaner speaking jive as usual, get on skype to call Virgin Atlantic again.
9:45 AM: Waiting for 20 minutes now, realize I am hungry and open a container of fig rolls, as soon as I start chewing I am naturally put on the phone with an associate.
10:00AM: Get put on a flight on December 26th from Heathrow to JFK, won't be home for Christmas, but at least know when I am going home so I can plan accordingly. According to the man I spoke with that was the earliest flight I could get to anywhere in the East Coast.
10:15AM: Call Dad, tell him my situation. He makes me realize that the fuckers at Virgin just walked all over me. How can the ONLY flight to the US be no sooner than December 26. I realize he has a point and decide to call back after a shower.
11:15AM: Take a shower and then once again call Virgin. This time I get through in 20 minutes and am greeted by the biggest jerk ever. I tell him that I realize that clearly Virgin just played me into thinking that I would be ok getting on a flight no sooner than December 26th. He tells me that its all the governments fault (like I haven't heard that excuse before) and actually starts yelling at me. I demand that look into other flights on Delta, America, US Airways, and British Airways.
11:47-12:00PM: To protect the names of the innocent "Joe" claims that he has me on hold saying he is looking into other flights. He probably was making note on my file that I am the biggest pain in the ass ever. Comes back on the line to say nothing is available, although he could put me on a flight on December 27th to Orlando. I go CRAZY, telling him to not DARE take me off my flight on December 26th, and then go on this staged emotional rant where I said, and I quote, "You know what this is nothing personal but lets be honest, you don't even know me nor do you care what will happen to me after I hang up this phone. You will forget all about me, yet I will still be here sitting all alone in this room. ALL ALONE. Listen, I have no one, absolutely NO ONE. All my friends are home and my family is thousands of miles away. I am living out of my suitcases, but what do you care? You are just going to go home to your family tonight and have a nice Christmas."
12:05PM: Clearly flattery doesn't work. He tells me he can't do anything and to have a nice day. Decide to drown my sorrows in yet another Tesco 2 pound Meal Deal of a chicken and bacon wrap, prawn cocktail chips, and orange juice. At the register the same moron Apu (no I am not stereotyping that was his name) who told me 12 hours earlier to use the self checkout, told me to do it again. Once again I said "I can't my debit card is a swipe card". And once again he said it will work and once AGAIN I was right and he was wrong but of course I looked like the idiot who could not use a debit card...
12:30PM: Screw this, I'm not waiting another hour to call Virgin back. I try once again and now reach a third man talks to me and this time he claims there is a flight to Orlando on Dec 22nd (tomorrow) from Gatwick at 1pm and then I can take a American Airlines flight from Orlando to JFK. I take it, finally my nightmare is over...so I thought...
After this I start partying it up because in all honesty, my 3 month period of being "21" is about to end in about 24 hours, go out to dinner and drinks with my only remaining friend in London and some of his friends.
11:30PM: This starts the drunken quest to get from London Bridge back to Hampstead then back to Clapham Common before the last tube is running. Thankfully we make it and are back by 1am. While checking out I ask reception for the mail one last time, apparently they had been forgetting to give me a card from my grandmother for a month now...
Day 3
I'll save you the minor details of riding the Gatwick Express but anyways I get to the ticket counter and see my flight is delayed until 2:15 from 1pm...this is where all the fun starts.
me to throw food in my carry on into the suitcase since it weighs less. I am trying to tell her though that there is no physical space left in the suitcase. She then wants to see the contents in my suitcase, at which she says "So what do you like Jaffa Cakes or something? Take them out!" BITCH made me put my jaffa cakes in my suitcase. Fast forward 24 hours later and yes they were squished, I am still morning the loss of them. But now back to Jane... she is now making me take clothing and such out of the bag that is overweight. I take out my film studies books and they were the culprits. So now I am under the maximum but am still going to be charged an overweight fee. She "lets me go" since I am .5kg over on my carry on. I leave but before I go I tell her to learn how to smile. (It was a polite way of telling her F**K YOU! To piss her off I then took off my scarf and sweater in front of her and stuffed it into the bag...
She is getting mentioned in my letter to Richard Branson...
Following so far? At this point it may be best to take a break, grab a cup of coffee or something because this story is only about halfway over...
12:45 PM: My gate number is supposed to appear
1:00PM: Gate number appears, takes about 20 minutes to walk to that gate. Upon arrival at the gate we are all sitting there waiting and the lovely people at Virgin tell us that there are not enough flight attendants to man the plane. After they find ones to work the flight AND clear security we will be able to board. While this is all going on I realize there is no Wi Fi in the terminal so I have to call my family on my phone to tell them I am delayed, by this point I am thinking I may miss my connecting flight. Then the stewardess comes on and says we won't leave until 4pm London time which means we will get in at 8:30PM Orlando time, I am missing my 7:35 connecting flight...
!:00-4:00 PM: While sitting around I realize that I am just about the only American on my flight and that practically everyone on this flight is indeed a British family with what seems 10 kids each. At one point there was a kid sniffing his shoe. Then making a face to the effect that "oh god that smells"..only to sniff it again. Dumb kid...Then closer to 4pm the terminal started turning into a playground for all the kids. PSA to all parents out there: An airport terminal is NOT your kid's play pen!
4:00PM- 1:30AM London time: Flight finally leaves! On the flight I had the honor of sitting next to this mother and her son. They were separated from their other family members and through out the whole flight she was worried about her poor son Charlie who was "sick" (sick as in the British sense of the word meaning puked). The son for EVERYTHING that something did to him said : "CHEERRRRSSSSS". It was quite comical after awhile. If he asked to get up he said "CHEERRRRSSSSSS". Sat down, "CHEERRRSSSSS". Flight attendant gave him food "CHEERRRSSSSS". Getting the picture? Then at the beginning of the flight I forgot to include the part where the mother said to me "so you going to talk or be silent the whole trip?" She was a lovely woman so we got along fine. Then mid-flight the baby puked across from me. Thank god for the TV, it allowed me to watch Despicable Me and the end of "Going the Distance", which I must say was the worst ending ever!
1:30AM London/ 8:30AM Orlando: I put my hands up and I was nodding my head like yeaaaa because I was back in the USA! Customs was a breeze (almost too much of a breeze, but than again I was the only American on the flight!) Got my bags and then had to go to the ticket counter. There was no more flights for the night so they put me on an American Airlines flight at 8:25 AM the next morning and got me a room in the Hyatt for the night, plus a $15 meal voucher. My grandparents were on standby to come get me from Tampa but in the end they didn't have to. I didn't mind being stuck in the hotel though, despite the endless walk with all 4 of my bags because I discovered I was in a king sized suite! Hell I could have spend Christmas there and I would be fine!
Day 4
8:25 AM-10:55AM: Flight to JFK, this part is uneventful but at one point some guy was like "Hey Brother, can I sit near the window?" It was fine since no one was sitting there, but don't call me brother...ever...
10:55AM: FINALLY AT JFK, my travelling nightmare was finally over!
Morning Dec 21: I wake up at 9:15AM to hear the cleaner speaking jive as usual, get on skype to call Virgin Atlantic again.
9:45 AM: Waiting for 20 minutes now, realize I am hungry and open a container of fig rolls, as soon as I start chewing I am naturally put on the phone with an associate.
10:00AM: Get put on a flight on December 26th from Heathrow to JFK, won't be home for Christmas, but at least know when I am going home so I can plan accordingly. According to the man I spoke with that was the earliest flight I could get to anywhere in the East Coast.
10:15AM: Call Dad, tell him my situation. He makes me realize that the fuckers at Virgin just walked all over me. How can the ONLY flight to the US be no sooner than December 26. I realize he has a point and decide to call back after a shower.
11:15AM: Take a shower and then once again call Virgin. This time I get through in 20 minutes and am greeted by the biggest jerk ever. I tell him that I realize that clearly Virgin just played me into thinking that I would be ok getting on a flight no sooner than December 26th. He tells me that its all the governments fault (like I haven't heard that excuse before) and actually starts yelling at me. I demand that look into other flights on Delta, America, US Airways, and British Airways.
11:47-12:00PM: To protect the names of the innocent "Joe" claims that he has me on hold saying he is looking into other flights. He probably was making note on my file that I am the biggest pain in the ass ever. Comes back on the line to say nothing is available, although he could put me on a flight on December 27th to Orlando. I go CRAZY, telling him to not DARE take me off my flight on December 26th, and then go on this staged emotional rant where I said, and I quote, "You know what this is nothing personal but lets be honest, you don't even know me nor do you care what will happen to me after I hang up this phone. You will forget all about me, yet I will still be here sitting all alone in this room. ALL ALONE. Listen, I have no one, absolutely NO ONE. All my friends are home and my family is thousands of miles away. I am living out of my suitcases, but what do you care? You are just going to go home to your family tonight and have a nice Christmas."
12:05PM: Clearly flattery doesn't work. He tells me he can't do anything and to have a nice day. Decide to drown my sorrows in yet another Tesco 2 pound Meal Deal of a chicken and bacon wrap, prawn cocktail chips, and orange juice. At the register the same moron Apu (no I am not stereotyping that was his name) who told me 12 hours earlier to use the self checkout, told me to do it again. Once again I said "I can't my debit card is a swipe card". And once again he said it will work and once AGAIN I was right and he was wrong but of course I looked like the idiot who could not use a debit card...
12:30PM: Screw this, I'm not waiting another hour to call Virgin back. I try once again and now reach a third man talks to me and this time he claims there is a flight to Orlando on Dec 22nd (tomorrow) from Gatwick at 1pm and then I can take a American Airlines flight from Orlando to JFK. I take it, finally my nightmare is over...so I thought...
After this I start partying it up because in all honesty, my 3 month period of being "21" is about to end in about 24 hours, go out to dinner and drinks with my only remaining friend in London and some of his friends.
11:30PM: This starts the drunken quest to get from London Bridge back to Hampstead then back to Clapham Common before the last tube is running. Thankfully we make it and are back by 1am. While checking out I ask reception for the mail one last time, apparently they had been forgetting to give me a card from my grandmother for a month now...
Day 3
I'll save you the minor details of riding the Gatwick Express but anyways I get to the ticket counter and see my flight is delayed until 2:15 from 1pm...this is where all the fun starts.
me to throw food in my carry on into the suitcase since it weighs less. I am trying to tell her though that there is no physical space left in the suitcase. She then wants to see the contents in my suitcase, at which she says "So what do you like Jaffa Cakes or something? Take them out!" BITCH made me put my jaffa cakes in my suitcase. Fast forward 24 hours later and yes they were squished, I am still morning the loss of them. But now back to Jane... she is now making me take clothing and such out of the bag that is overweight. I take out my film studies books and they were the culprits. So now I am under the maximum but am still going to be charged an overweight fee. She "lets me go" since I am .5kg over on my carry on. I leave but before I go I tell her to learn how to smile. (It was a polite way of telling her F**K YOU! To piss her off I then took off my scarf and sweater in front of her and stuffed it into the bag...
She is getting mentioned in my letter to Richard Branson...
Following so far? At this point it may be best to take a break, grab a cup of coffee or something because this story is only about halfway over...
12:45 PM: My gate number is supposed to appear
1:00PM: Gate number appears, takes about 20 minutes to walk to that gate. Upon arrival at the gate we are all sitting there waiting and the lovely people at Virgin tell us that there are not enough flight attendants to man the plane. After they find ones to work the flight AND clear security we will be able to board. While this is all going on I realize there is no Wi Fi in the terminal so I have to call my family on my phone to tell them I am delayed, by this point I am thinking I may miss my connecting flight. Then the stewardess comes on and says we won't leave until 4pm London time which means we will get in at 8:30PM Orlando time, I am missing my 7:35 connecting flight...
!:00-4:00 PM: While sitting around I realize that I am just about the only American on my flight and that practically everyone on this flight is indeed a British family with what seems 10 kids each. At one point there was a kid sniffing his shoe. Then making a face to the effect that "oh god that smells"..only to sniff it again. Dumb kid...Then closer to 4pm the terminal started turning into a playground for all the kids. PSA to all parents out there: An airport terminal is NOT your kid's play pen!
4:00PM- 1:30AM London time: Flight finally leaves! On the flight I had the honor of sitting next to this mother and her son. They were separated from their other family members and through out the whole flight she was worried about her poor son Charlie who was "sick" (sick as in the British sense of the word meaning puked). The son for EVERYTHING that something did to him said : "CHEERRRRSSSSS". It was quite comical after awhile. If he asked to get up he said "CHEERRRRSSSSSS". Sat down, "CHEERRRSSSSS". Flight attendant gave him food "CHEERRRSSSSS". Getting the picture? Then at the beginning of the flight I forgot to include the part where the mother said to me "so you going to talk or be silent the whole trip?" She was a lovely woman so we got along fine. Then mid-flight the baby puked across from me. Thank god for the TV, it allowed me to watch Despicable Me and the end of "Going the Distance", which I must say was the worst ending ever!
1:30AM London/ 8:30AM Orlando: I put my hands up and I was nodding my head like yeaaaa because I was back in the USA! Customs was a breeze (almost too much of a breeze, but than again I was the only American on the flight!) Got my bags and then had to go to the ticket counter. There was no more flights for the night so they put me on an American Airlines flight at 8:25 AM the next morning and got me a room in the Hyatt for the night, plus a $15 meal voucher. My grandparents were on standby to come get me from Tampa but in the end they didn't have to. I didn't mind being stuck in the hotel though, despite the endless walk with all 4 of my bags because I discovered I was in a king sized suite! Hell I could have spend Christmas there and I would be fine!
Day 4
8:25 AM-10:55AM: Flight to JFK, this part is uneventful but at one point some guy was like "Hey Brother, can I sit near the window?" It was fine since no one was sitting there, but don't call me brother...ever...
10:55AM: FINALLY AT JFK, my travelling nightmare was finally over!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Stranded Abroad
The British Empire once controlled a quarter of the worlds population. That is a whopping 25%, 1 in 4 people were under the crown...and you know what, THEY CAN'T HANDLE 5 INCHES OF SNOW!!!!!!!!!! I thought the US response to Katrina was bad, but hey at least no one really saw that one coming. 5 INCHES....5 INCHES (ok depending on where you live 8) yet still, that wouldn't even be on the "everyone have a french toast party" on Joe Snedeker's Panic Meter during WNEP's morning weather forcast...
This is the ultimate shag... Shagged Abroad has now become, Stranded Abroad...
Day 1/2: Awoke at 7am on December 19th, moving my hips like yeaaaa in anticipation to my triumphant return to the US, only to be told my flight was cancelled. By approximately 9:30AM I had filled out Virgin's online form for requesting a re booking. Received a follow up email saying that I would be notified within 12 hours, well it is currently 11:20 PM on December 20th...like yea...
Panic for quite a bit, then started receiving text messages from Virgin saying don't even come to Heathrow because they are kicking everyone out of the airport. Heathrow received a whopping 5-8 inches of snow, plus they are out of rock salt. I didn't know there was a crisis in the UK over a shortage of Quick Joe.
10:30 AM Dec 19th: Cheer myself with a 2 pound meal deal. Through thick and thin, the 2 pound meal deal is there for me. Decided to go healthy, had a chicken Caesar, salt and vinegar chips, and some OJ
1:00-3:00PM Dec 19th: I hope while you read each entry you have the 24 clock ticking in your head with Kiefer's voice over...decide to nap to take away the pain. No response from Virgin via email or phone. Phone dies. Missed Dad's phone call
4:00PM Dec 19th: Wake up from nap to the chaos of the Boyko's freaking out because they couldn't reach me via phone. Listen to voicemail, apparently I didn't set one up for the past 3 months, needed to do so but couldn't. Phone wasn't recognizing the * key. My Dad's message remains a mystery....
5:00PM -10:00PM Dec 19th: My friend Chris makes me feel better by putting on Fox News, and then Al Jazerra English, which is quite good actually. Then I become addicted to British TV...watch "Come Dine With Me"...now addicted, mad that the picky chick won despite the fact her own food was good...Di so should have won...Thankfully for Sky On Demand, was able to pause before while running to Tesco of a beef and red wine ravioli with a side of veggies and passion fruit yogurt for dessert.
10:30PM (?ish) Dec 19th: Introduced to "Miranda", so dumb of a show it is actually great. LOVE the scene where she is trying to wax her va jay jay in the tub and gets stuck to the bottom of the tub.
11:00PM Dec 19th- Go to bed to take away the pain, still no email response from Virgin, Thanks gorgeous!!!
7:30AM Dec 20th- Wake up to see if any news on the Virgin Atlantic front, nothing...and to make matters worse all flights today are cancelled as well since they were unable to deice the planes and the runway. IT IS CALLED ROCK SALT, maybe it isn't common on the island of GREAT BRITAIN but you know what in America its a staple and it gets us through all our snow storms, from dustings to blizzards just fine.
9:00AM Dec 20th- Heathrow releases a statement saying we need to "reflect on our actions"...See my above argument, reflect??? No pour more rock salt...
11:00AM Dec 20th- It is 2 pound meal deal time again, this time chicken and bacon wrap with cheese and onion chips and more OJ, so bad for you but soooo good
11:15AM Dec 20th- See Cleaner. She is PISSED because she thinks I am the one who left all the plastic bags of recycling in the kitchen. She can't yell at me in English though, only Jive...
12:00AM Dec 20th- Now over 24 hours since I initially emailed Virgin still no response. Decide to "reflect" and take a hajj to Lancaster Gate and see Aunt Victoria's old flat. Beautiful place, but finding High Marylbone Road was too difficult, plus I was tired and cold. Stop for a smoked salmon bagel with creme cheese and some Earl Grey
2:00PM Dec 20th- Mouse on my laptop has not been working for the past few days, tired of using the tab key. Some loser is in the PAWS room, soon as he leaves I "borrow" one of the mouses.
3:00PM Dec 20th- With a mouse in my possession continue calling Virgin, while waiting for that email, thank god I don't have my hand on my ass waiting for it.
7:00PM Dec 20th- Venture out for food, make another trip to Tesco, Sainsbury's too far and too cold. Sidewalks still not shoveled but the roads are just wet, no snow cover. Tonight's meal? Microwaveable Tesco's finest Paella and some vanilla yogurt for dessert.
10:00PM Dec 20th- Re-email Virgin with my info, write on their Facebook wall, AND call them via skype while chatting with STA as well. No response from either, after 40minutes I get cut off by Virgin. Call bastards back, playing the same 5 songs while on hold. Tired of listening to "Carwash" and the Jackson 5...not my type of music really
11:40PM Dec 20th: In an IM from my dad: [from your mother] just get our son home safe. [dad] what am i fuckin chuck norris?
More to follow as the night unfolds, keep tuning in for updates...
This is the ultimate shag... Shagged Abroad has now become, Stranded Abroad...
Day 1/2: Awoke at 7am on December 19th, moving my hips like yeaaaa in anticipation to my triumphant return to the US, only to be told my flight was cancelled. By approximately 9:30AM I had filled out Virgin's online form for requesting a re booking. Received a follow up email saying that I would be notified within 12 hours, well it is currently 11:20 PM on December 20th...like yea...
Panic for quite a bit, then started receiving text messages from Virgin saying don't even come to Heathrow because they are kicking everyone out of the airport. Heathrow received a whopping 5-8 inches of snow, plus they are out of rock salt. I didn't know there was a crisis in the UK over a shortage of Quick Joe.
10:30 AM Dec 19th: Cheer myself with a 2 pound meal deal. Through thick and thin, the 2 pound meal deal is there for me. Decided to go healthy, had a chicken Caesar, salt and vinegar chips, and some OJ
1:00-3:00PM Dec 19th: I hope while you read each entry you have the 24 clock ticking in your head with Kiefer's voice over...decide to nap to take away the pain. No response from Virgin via email or phone. Phone dies. Missed Dad's phone call
4:00PM Dec 19th: Wake up from nap to the chaos of the Boyko's freaking out because they couldn't reach me via phone. Listen to voicemail, apparently I didn't set one up for the past 3 months, needed to do so but couldn't. Phone wasn't recognizing the * key. My Dad's message remains a mystery....
5:00PM -10:00PM Dec 19th: My friend Chris makes me feel better by putting on Fox News, and then Al Jazerra English, which is quite good actually. Then I become addicted to British TV...watch "Come Dine With Me"...now addicted, mad that the picky chick won despite the fact her own food was good...Di so should have won...Thankfully for Sky On Demand, was able to pause before while running to Tesco of a beef and red wine ravioli with a side of veggies and passion fruit yogurt for dessert.
10:30PM (?ish) Dec 19th: Introduced to "Miranda", so dumb of a show it is actually great. LOVE the scene where she is trying to wax her va jay jay in the tub and gets stuck to the bottom of the tub.
11:00PM Dec 19th- Go to bed to take away the pain, still no email response from Virgin, Thanks gorgeous!!!
7:30AM Dec 20th- Wake up to see if any news on the Virgin Atlantic front, nothing...and to make matters worse all flights today are cancelled as well since they were unable to deice the planes and the runway. IT IS CALLED ROCK SALT, maybe it isn't common on the island of GREAT BRITAIN but you know what in America its a staple and it gets us through all our snow storms, from dustings to blizzards just fine.
9:00AM Dec 20th- Heathrow releases a statement saying we need to "reflect on our actions"...See my above argument, reflect??? No pour more rock salt...
11:00AM Dec 20th- It is 2 pound meal deal time again, this time chicken and bacon wrap with cheese and onion chips and more OJ, so bad for you but soooo good
11:15AM Dec 20th- See Cleaner. She is PISSED because she thinks I am the one who left all the plastic bags of recycling in the kitchen. She can't yell at me in English though, only Jive...
12:00AM Dec 20th- Now over 24 hours since I initially emailed Virgin still no response. Decide to "reflect" and take a hajj to Lancaster Gate and see Aunt Victoria's old flat. Beautiful place, but finding High Marylbone Road was too difficult, plus I was tired and cold. Stop for a smoked salmon bagel with creme cheese and some Earl Grey
2:00PM Dec 20th- Mouse on my laptop has not been working for the past few days, tired of using the tab key. Some loser is in the PAWS room, soon as he leaves I "borrow" one of the mouses.
3:00PM Dec 20th- With a mouse in my possession continue calling Virgin, while waiting for that email, thank god I don't have my hand on my ass waiting for it.
7:00PM Dec 20th- Venture out for food, make another trip to Tesco, Sainsbury's too far and too cold. Sidewalks still not shoveled but the roads are just wet, no snow cover. Tonight's meal? Microwaveable Tesco's finest Paella and some vanilla yogurt for dessert.
10:00PM Dec 20th- Re-email Virgin with my info, write on their Facebook wall, AND call them via skype while chatting with STA as well. No response from either, after 40minutes I get cut off by Virgin. Call bastards back, playing the same 5 songs while on hold. Tired of listening to "Carwash" and the Jackson 5...not my type of music really
11:40PM Dec 20th: In an IM from my dad: [from your mother] just get our son home safe. [dad] what am i fuckin chuck norris?
More to follow as the night unfolds, keep tuning in for updates...
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Homeless
It was another typical Thursday morning. I have the day off but I am always awakened to the beautiful voice of the cleaner, Maria, speaking jive with one of her chikas on her cell phone in the hallway. That is actually putting it lightly since the woman practically screams into the phone. Her friend must be deaf and if she wasn't before she is now.
Now the cleaner always comes into my room on Thursday and it usually depends on how slow she is doing her job. I heard her in the hallway and totally forgot it was my day to get my room cleaned so I went to take a shower. The water wasn't the hottest this morning so I was definitely in there ten minutes top. I stroll back down after my shower go to open my door and it won't open...wiggle the handle again...nothing. So now I drop my wet towel and shampoo and go running down the hall to see if the cleaner is in any of the kitchens or the bathrooms. She is nowhere to be found. Somehow this woman was able to clean my room, finish the other rooms and leave in a span of me taking a shower in ten minutes. Thank god at least I had a pair of shorts and a t shirt with me because now I'm thinking SHIT I have to walk all the way to reception in the cold in my Inca Kola t shirt and black gym shorts, with no shoes. Luckily Zoe came out of her room. Apparently there is a phone in our kitchen that has a direct line to security!? Three months here and I failed to notice we have an emergency phone.
Cut to me standing at my door waiting for security. An ambulance almost came also because I gave Sheenagh the biggest heart attack as she walked outside her door. Once her heart stopped racing she left and then comes the security guards. Of all the guards it just had to be the Polish guy who I swear is Vladimir Putin's long lost son. He's pretty jacked ala Putin and shows absolutely no sympathy or emotion. He opens my door and then says, "This is gonna sound stupid, but you should keep your key on you at all times." I felt like saying, "She shouldn't have locked my door, I was gone for ten minutes tops!", but I was afraid he'd go KGB on my ass so I kept my mouth shut. Then I get back into my room. She didn't even vacuum my floor or clean my sink. She just took the garbage out and she used the same bag because the wrapper from my Tesco sandwich the other night was still in there. Obviously she isn't the smartest at covering up her trail because she left a whole lot of evidence. Mrs. Cleaner if you are out there somewhere reading this, I only have one more week with you (holy shit it's only one more week), please clean my floor and sink one last time. It would make me so happy.
I'm gonna start a new segment, the daily Boyko, since apparently the Boyko's have their own cult following with the readers: Apparently my 85 year old grandfather Wasil discovered youtube, and now as a result he is playing polkas all day at Viktoria Richards Chocolates! Oh joy! In his honor here is "Who stole the Kishka?" Look at the highest rated comment under the video!
Now the cleaner always comes into my room on Thursday and it usually depends on how slow she is doing her job. I heard her in the hallway and totally forgot it was my day to get my room cleaned so I went to take a shower. The water wasn't the hottest this morning so I was definitely in there ten minutes top. I stroll back down after my shower go to open my door and it won't open...wiggle the handle again...nothing. So now I drop my wet towel and shampoo and go running down the hall to see if the cleaner is in any of the kitchens or the bathrooms. She is nowhere to be found. Somehow this woman was able to clean my room, finish the other rooms and leave in a span of me taking a shower in ten minutes. Thank god at least I had a pair of shorts and a t shirt with me because now I'm thinking SHIT I have to walk all the way to reception in the cold in my Inca Kola t shirt and black gym shorts, with no shoes. Luckily Zoe came out of her room. Apparently there is a phone in our kitchen that has a direct line to security!? Three months here and I failed to notice we have an emergency phone.
Cut to me standing at my door waiting for security. An ambulance almost came also because I gave Sheenagh the biggest heart attack as she walked outside her door. Once her heart stopped racing she left and then comes the security guards. Of all the guards it just had to be the Polish guy who I swear is Vladimir Putin's long lost son. He's pretty jacked ala Putin and shows absolutely no sympathy or emotion. He opens my door and then says, "This is gonna sound stupid, but you should keep your key on you at all times." I felt like saying, "She shouldn't have locked my door, I was gone for ten minutes tops!", but I was afraid he'd go KGB on my ass so I kept my mouth shut. Then I get back into my room. She didn't even vacuum my floor or clean my sink. She just took the garbage out and she used the same bag because the wrapper from my Tesco sandwich the other night was still in there. Obviously she isn't the smartest at covering up her trail because she left a whole lot of evidence. Mrs. Cleaner if you are out there somewhere reading this, I only have one more week with you (holy shit it's only one more week), please clean my floor and sink one last time. It would make me so happy.
I'm gonna start a new segment, the daily Boyko, since apparently the Boyko's have their own cult following with the readers: Apparently my 85 year old grandfather Wasil discovered youtube, and now as a result he is playing polkas all day at Viktoria Richards Chocolates! Oh joy! In his honor here is "Who stole the Kishka?" Look at the highest rated comment under the video!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Free From Snape
So my fan base has been pleading for a blog update. I had my final Greek pottery class and let me tell you it went out with a bang (literally). Snape must have been saving all the juicy stuff for the last class because we finally got to 400 BC and this is when all the he said, she said, artist drama started. I mean this may be the original celebrity feud. So apparently Exekias and Amasis did not like each other at all. Exekias made this beautiful (I say sarcastically...its a friggin cup) cup, which is famously called "The Eye Cup". Well Amasis didn't like the fact that Exekias didn't like him painting on the face of a cup a giant eye. Guess that wasn't the proper thing to do at the time in 400 BC, so as payback Amasis made the SAME cup only. Only difference is instead of an eye Amasis drew Exekias "pleasuring" himself both with his hands and a dildo. Yea, do a google search you will probably find it. Amasis didn't like Exekias so he called him gay. How childish...
Then today while hanging in my Greek Pottery essay (all 5,000 words of it), the other American study abroad student and I are bitching to the secretary about how boring and mundane the class was. Then I look over the corner of my shoulder and what do I see? Through the window, is Snape! I can tell by that same orange sweater he always wears. I kinda got nervous and laughed. Then me being the moron that I am when he walked in I just went "Heyyyyyy!" Who says hey to a Professor, only me...
Oh and this reminds me. On Tuesday I went to do some research for my paper because I needed to have a picture of the pots I described for my pottery paper. Well given my luck, the memory card reader on my camera wasn't working. It's a small card so it doesn't fit regularly in the port anyway so I wasn't taking any chances putting it in a University computer. So I figured no biggie I'll do a google search. I did hundreds of google searches on this damn pot " early geometric oinochoe jug wine jug" NOTHING. Nobody in the world has ever taken a picture of this pot. Guess I'm the only one that has ever found it interesting. Then I looked up the British Museum's database. They don't even have a picture of their own friggin pot. This is when I get annoyed though. I go all the way to Narnia, but you can't take any books out or look them up on the online database because they are currently updating the system...who the hell updates their library system mid-semester towards the end of term!? I swear if GW did that there would be riots in the street and people would be jumping off the roof of Gelman. I never ever thought I'd say I miss Gelman. I also miss GWorld since King's hasn't thought of the novel concept of allowing your student ID to store money. I had to purchase a separate card just to use the photocopiers. Get with the times already... To add insult to injury Snape never responded to my email begging for mercy. When I saw him today he was like, "Oh I thought I replied, I couldn't find the pot either so just show me next week when we go to the BM!" I was speechless.
I also went on an awesome adventure to get my secret Santa gift, but I won't say who because I don't want to give some people (Sheenagh) the satisfaction of knowing who I have!! Oh and tonight at 9pm while talking to my lover Anna, I had a craving for a chicken and bacon wrap from Tesco. I have become British...
Then today while hanging in my Greek Pottery essay (all 5,000 words of it), the other American study abroad student and I are bitching to the secretary about how boring and mundane the class was. Then I look over the corner of my shoulder and what do I see? Through the window, is Snape! I can tell by that same orange sweater he always wears. I kinda got nervous and laughed. Then me being the moron that I am when he walked in I just went "Heyyyyyy!" Who says hey to a Professor, only me...
Oh and this reminds me. On Tuesday I went to do some research for my paper because I needed to have a picture of the pots I described for my pottery paper. Well given my luck, the memory card reader on my camera wasn't working. It's a small card so it doesn't fit regularly in the port anyway so I wasn't taking any chances putting it in a University computer. So I figured no biggie I'll do a google search. I did hundreds of google searches on this damn pot " early geometric oinochoe jug wine jug" NOTHING. Nobody in the world has ever taken a picture of this pot. Guess I'm the only one that has ever found it interesting. Then I looked up the British Museum's database. They don't even have a picture of their own friggin pot. This is when I get annoyed though. I go all the way to Narnia, but you can't take any books out or look them up on the online database because they are currently updating the system...who the hell updates their library system mid-semester towards the end of term!? I swear if GW did that there would be riots in the street and people would be jumping off the roof of Gelman. I never ever thought I'd say I miss Gelman. I also miss GWorld since King's hasn't thought of the novel concept of allowing your student ID to store money. I had to purchase a separate card just to use the photocopiers. Get with the times already... To add insult to injury Snape never responded to my email begging for mercy. When I saw him today he was like, "Oh I thought I replied, I couldn't find the pot either so just show me next week when we go to the BM!" I was speechless.
I also went on an awesome adventure to get my secret Santa gift, but I won't say who because I don't want to give some people (Sheenagh) the satisfaction of knowing who I have!! Oh and tonight at 9pm while talking to my lover Anna, I had a craving for a chicken and bacon wrap from Tesco. I have become British...
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Turkey With British Side Dishes
So I've been way too busy doing work and procrastinating to even blog. I forgot to talk all about my very British Thanksgiving. Well it first started off at St. Paul's (where Diana got married- since Americans don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to British stuff unless it some what correlates to Diana). The Church was massive and I must say its nice to sit through mass without tourists taking photos a la Notre Dame. Although I must say that I did not appreciate the US Ambassador getting political from the pulpit. It wasn't the day nor the place. To make things worse I thought he was reading the President's Thanksgiving address and was done. Then I realized he was done reading his address, and then it was time for Barry's. Dear Jesus. Then the sermon was too long as well. The priest told like five stories none of which I can relate to. I would have preferred the typical Thanksgiving story just being retold or a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving at least. A Hampstead Thanksgiving was an epic fail, but given us I'm not too surprised. That isn't to say a GW Thanksgiving wasn't much more proper. I was all excited for a free Thanksgiving meal. The menu called for turkey, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie etc. And you know what it was? (British friends don't take offense, there is just a time and a place for your cuisine, Thanksgiving just wasn't the time). It was turkey with British FUCKING side dishes, as I slightly tipsily told my family back in Florida later that evening. We had turkey, with Yorkshire puddings (I like those so that's fine; I can have those any day). But then we had roast potatoes, red cabbage, and broccoli!? Oh and when I wanted gravy on my turkey, I got it on all that. Yea....
Dessert? Well no pumpkin pie. Instead we had apple pie with custard or chocolate pie and cream. Now this cream isn't like whipped cream it's the type one would pour into coffee. I'll let you picture that. Must say though the apple pie was delish! I skipped the whole watching football part and then went clubbing instead.
Saturday though I did go to a football game. I froze my balls off. It was Fulham and Birmingham. I was impressed that GW got us such nice seats. We were literally six rows behind the goalie. I felt really proud of myself when I realized Clint Dempsey played for Fulham...the only American soccer player other then Landon Donovan I know. CLint scored, which prompeted me to chant U-S-A. No one joined me...oh well. After a freezing 90 minutes it was a 1-1 tie. I wasn't going to lose sleep over who won so I left.
I would like to the devote the last section of my blog to get political for one moment. America starting in 2011 you will have to make a choice that will affect you for many years to come. One that is bigger then the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the economy, DADT, or immigration reform. It is about television. You see starting in the fall of 2011, Cheryl Cole is going to become the new Paula Abdul on the American version of The X Factor. I'm warning you. It ain't gonna be pretty. This is what you are getting yourself into America! Don't say I warned you.
OH and also...I have my way of finding things out about a lot of things but especially how many views this blog gets, especially when you use google. I see what was searched to locate this blog. Here are two of my favorites from the past week: "Do people really hook up in the Maughan Library", "Funny Red Chair Stories", and "Helen Keller house in Amsterdam"....OK first of all, who googles the first one!? The second one I can see I suppose,and who ever is the moron who also though the Helen Keller house is in Amsterdam...I have found my soul mate. There is someone as dense as me out there!
Dessert? Well no pumpkin pie. Instead we had apple pie with custard or chocolate pie and cream. Now this cream isn't like whipped cream it's the type one would pour into coffee. I'll let you picture that. Must say though the apple pie was delish! I skipped the whole watching football part and then went clubbing instead.
Saturday though I did go to a football game. I froze my balls off. It was Fulham and Birmingham. I was impressed that GW got us such nice seats. We were literally six rows behind the goalie. I felt really proud of myself when I realized Clint Dempsey played for Fulham...the only American soccer player other then Landon Donovan I know. CLint scored, which prompeted me to chant U-S-A. No one joined me...oh well. After a freezing 90 minutes it was a 1-1 tie. I wasn't going to lose sleep over who won so I left.
I would like to the devote the last section of my blog to get political for one moment. America starting in 2011 you will have to make a choice that will affect you for many years to come. One that is bigger then the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the economy, DADT, or immigration reform. It is about television. You see starting in the fall of 2011, Cheryl Cole is going to become the new Paula Abdul on the American version of The X Factor. I'm warning you. It ain't gonna be pretty. This is what you are getting yourself into America! Don't say I warned you.
OH and also...I have my way of finding things out about a lot of things but especially how many views this blog gets, especially when you use google. I see what was searched to locate this blog. Here are two of my favorites from the past week: "Do people really hook up in the Maughan Library", "Funny Red Chair Stories", and "Helen Keller house in Amsterdam"....OK first of all, who googles the first one!? The second one I can see I suppose,and who ever is the moron who also though the Helen Keller house is in Amsterdam...I have found my soul mate. There is someone as dense as me out there!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Pierre and Paris
I'll admit that prior to going to Paris I was not that excited, just because everyone in the US kind of bitches about the French (which in some ways is entirely deserving), but after this weekend it was an amazing time and I can't wait to go back. So here's how this weekend went down.
It all started at St. Pancras station boarding Eurostar. I had the honor of sitting next to the Shinead O'Connor look alike, like that was anything hot to look at for two long hours. Then once we got into Paris we stopped moving and they came over the loud speaker and were talking in French. Naturally I had no clue what was going on and only when everyone grunted did I know that there was a twenty minute delay into Paris. This is where my bad luck seemed to run out though thankfully.
Cut to my first experience on the Paris metro. Sweet mother of God, what the hell is with the people of Paris and there public transportation system. The minute one descends into the darkness that is the Paris subway the smell of urine becomes immediately recognizable. Plus there is a ton of garbage and cigarette butts everywhere. Remember they keep it classy. Also, I am quite positive they are breaking some form of safety regulation in the US because the doors open manually when the train is slightly moving still. Oh and beware of getting your hand stuck in the doors which the French denote by this really cute picture of a bunny getting stuck in the door. Don't ask why...
After getting to the hostel I realized I needed to pay in cash so I had to run to the ATM to get more Euros aka monopoly money. There I met the annoying German girls who were in my room and the boy from Luzern, Switzerland. Sad to say though I would not be seeing them that evening because I ended up pulling an all nighter. For dinner I ended up walking around Paris and ate a delicious piece of three cheese pizza. Only downside was the three cheeses were Bree, mozzarella, and feta. All great cheeses by themselves but together not so much.
Then after my pizza disaster we met up with Derek and a few of my favorite new chicas. My favorite part of Friday evening was the punch these really nice old ladies made at the bar we went to. It was damnnn good. Plus I also enjoyed the fact that the club charged 10 euro but it included a drink. The music was mainly all American which was funny because all the French people were dancing not knowing what the words were while all of us were drunk singing along. Oh and then Utah was just there whipping his hair back and forth. By 3am it was time to leave though since I had some crazy people creeping on me and I had enough fun for one night, so I thought.
We get out of the club and after walking around aimlessly for about an hour looking for food or a lounge to go chill, I realize that I have no clue how to get back since there is no subway running and I don't know the bus system, and you don't hail cabs in Paris you have to go to taxi stations. So how did I solve this issue? Geoff and I decided to pull an all nighter and just go wander for food. That being said we forgot the French were lazy bastards and despite the smell of freshly baked bread filling the streets at 5am nothing in reality opened until like 8:30 am at the earlier, including McDonalds (drive through 24/7 in the US...keeping it classy France once again).
Luckily by 6:00am we were able to find a cafe and I had my first venture into Parisian food which was bread, croissant, orange juice, and hot chocolate. This feeling I had inside me was one I had not felt in months. It was the feeling of being full and actually eating good food (no offense Brits but one can only eat so much cheese and bacon sandwiches). With my stomach full I decided to go back to the hostel for a round two of breakfast which was the same thing I had at the cafe. Then I took a slight nap and was at the Louve with Geoff by 9am. Yes I only got 2 hours of sleep but the high of being in Paris had me ready to go.
Here are my thoughts on the Louve: Mona Lisa, over rated. The picture right behind her is more massive, and way way wayyyyyyy more impressive. Furthermore, given the ornate detail and design of the Louve, which was once a royal palace, I now know why the French killed their monarchs because I would have too if they used all my tax money to live such lavish lifestyles.Then we went to the "Bastille" which I use in quotations because its not longer there, big letdown, and the Moulin Rouge. After that we did some running around seeing the Eiffel Tower during the day. Me being the moron that I am had to ask one of the street vendors how much one of the towers cost and then I got a five minute sales pitch which ended in me taking the tower he gave me and setting it on the ground and walking away because I was just enquiring on how much they cost. I had no plan on buying them at that given moment. For lunch then I had some McDonald's. French McDonald's offer potato wedges instead of fries with mayo dipping sauce. So.damn.good. And of course while I was enjoying my McRoyal
After all this we sat by the Seine, and sat, and sat...two and a half hours later we finally got off the park bench. Now I know why Parisians do nothing and bitch when they have to work more then 35 hours a week and past 60. I would be too because it is so addicting and there is something about this city that just wants to make you sit down, have a coffee and a baguette and relax.
Going back to the hostel before dinner I thought I was going to die though. This woman got on screaming in French that she needed milk to feed her baby (or so I think?) I thought oh shit this is it, this is a suicide bomber. The woman scared me so much since I didn't think she was carrying an actual kid I got off the metro car, and then I saw someone jump the wall so they did not have to pay to get into the subway.
At dinner I realized that for some crazy reason wine is in fact cheaper then water in Paris. That being said dinner consisted of Madame Cluck (or whatever its called, a ham and cheese sandwich with a fried egg on top), tossed greens, and some french fries along side a Long Island Iced Tea! Then we went and saw the Eiffel Tower (at night!) before finally having a chocolate covered marshmallow and going to bed.
And then it was Sunday we went to Notre Dame for church. I was really annoyed though how people were allowed to walk around the edges of the inside of the church and take pictures and talk during mass. I found that entirely rude. And also I'm sorry but churches shouldn't have a gift store. I must say though it was one beautiful and amazing church though. The stained glass windows and the architecture were just breath taking.
And now cue The Carpenters. While waiting to meet up with Richard for lunch in the Jewish Quarter, Geoff and I were waiting at a bistro getting some crepes. I never got my chocolate crepe sadly. I pointed to it on the menu and got hot chocolate, but then I met him....Pierre. He was so hairy and would not leave my site. Yes, Pierre was a cat. I hate cats but this random cat jumped on my lap in this cafe and would not leave my sight. He was such a Parisian cat. All he needed was a beret and a cig and he would look so chic. We are now long lost lovers. One day Pierre I will see you again and here you say "le meow".
After saying goodbye to Pierre, I consoled myself with a chocolate eclair. Then we met up with Richard and went to the Jewish Quarter for falaffel. We waited outside for a bit but then the man said go inside and sit down its easier. Little did we know he never said that you had to buy the more expensive platters if we sat down inside instead of the falaffel pitas. I can make a joke, but I'll let you. I see a bit of irony there...
Then after all this it was au vou (I think that is how it spelled). Paris I will be back again someday when I'm rich because I am craving your food as we speak!
It all started at St. Pancras station boarding Eurostar. I had the honor of sitting next to the Shinead O'Connor look alike, like that was anything hot to look at for two long hours. Then once we got into Paris we stopped moving and they came over the loud speaker and were talking in French. Naturally I had no clue what was going on and only when everyone grunted did I know that there was a twenty minute delay into Paris. This is where my bad luck seemed to run out though thankfully.
Cut to my first experience on the Paris metro. Sweet mother of God, what the hell is with the people of Paris and there public transportation system. The minute one descends into the darkness that is the Paris subway the smell of urine becomes immediately recognizable. Plus there is a ton of garbage and cigarette butts everywhere. Remember they keep it classy. Also, I am quite positive they are breaking some form of safety regulation in the US because the doors open manually when the train is slightly moving still. Oh and beware of getting your hand stuck in the doors which the French denote by this really cute picture of a bunny getting stuck in the door. Don't ask why...
After getting to the hostel I realized I needed to pay in cash so I had to run to the ATM to get more Euros aka monopoly money. There I met the annoying German girls who were in my room and the boy from Luzern, Switzerland. Sad to say though I would not be seeing them that evening because I ended up pulling an all nighter. For dinner I ended up walking around Paris and ate a delicious piece of three cheese pizza. Only downside was the three cheeses were Bree, mozzarella, and feta. All great cheeses by themselves but together not so much.
Then after my pizza disaster we met up with Derek and a few of my favorite new chicas. My favorite part of Friday evening was the punch these really nice old ladies made at the bar we went to. It was damnnn good. Plus I also enjoyed the fact that the club charged 10 euro but it included a drink. The music was mainly all American which was funny because all the French people were dancing not knowing what the words were while all of us were drunk singing along. Oh and then Utah was just there whipping his hair back and forth. By 3am it was time to leave though since I had some crazy people creeping on me and I had enough fun for one night, so I thought.
We get out of the club and after walking around aimlessly for about an hour looking for food or a lounge to go chill, I realize that I have no clue how to get back since there is no subway running and I don't know the bus system, and you don't hail cabs in Paris you have to go to taxi stations. So how did I solve this issue? Geoff and I decided to pull an all nighter and just go wander for food. That being said we forgot the French were lazy bastards and despite the smell of freshly baked bread filling the streets at 5am nothing in reality opened until like 8:30 am at the earlier, including McDonalds (drive through 24/7 in the US...keeping it classy France once again).
Luckily by 6:00am we were able to find a cafe and I had my first venture into Parisian food which was bread, croissant, orange juice, and hot chocolate. This feeling I had inside me was one I had not felt in months. It was the feeling of being full and actually eating good food (no offense Brits but one can only eat so much cheese and bacon sandwiches). With my stomach full I decided to go back to the hostel for a round two of breakfast which was the same thing I had at the cafe. Then I took a slight nap and was at the Louve with Geoff by 9am. Yes I only got 2 hours of sleep but the high of being in Paris had me ready to go.
Here are my thoughts on the Louve: Mona Lisa, over rated. The picture right behind her is more massive, and way way wayyyyyyy more impressive. Furthermore, given the ornate detail and design of the Louve, which was once a royal palace, I now know why the French killed their monarchs because I would have too if they used all my tax money to live such lavish lifestyles.Then we went to the "Bastille" which I use in quotations because its not longer there, big letdown, and the Moulin Rouge. After that we did some running around seeing the Eiffel Tower during the day. Me being the moron that I am had to ask one of the street vendors how much one of the towers cost and then I got a five minute sales pitch which ended in me taking the tower he gave me and setting it on the ground and walking away because I was just enquiring on how much they cost. I had no plan on buying them at that given moment. For lunch then I had some McDonald's. French McDonald's offer potato wedges instead of fries with mayo dipping sauce. So.damn.good. And of course while I was enjoying my McRoyal
After all this we sat by the Seine, and sat, and sat...two and a half hours later we finally got off the park bench. Now I know why Parisians do nothing and bitch when they have to work more then 35 hours a week and past 60. I would be too because it is so addicting and there is something about this city that just wants to make you sit down, have a coffee and a baguette and relax.
Going back to the hostel before dinner I thought I was going to die though. This woman got on screaming in French that she needed milk to feed her baby (or so I think?) I thought oh shit this is it, this is a suicide bomber. The woman scared me so much since I didn't think she was carrying an actual kid I got off the metro car, and then I saw someone jump the wall so they did not have to pay to get into the subway.
At dinner I realized that for some crazy reason wine is in fact cheaper then water in Paris. That being said dinner consisted of Madame Cluck (or whatever its called, a ham and cheese sandwich with a fried egg on top), tossed greens, and some french fries along side a Long Island Iced Tea! Then we went and saw the Eiffel Tower (at night!) before finally having a chocolate covered marshmallow and going to bed.
And then it was Sunday we went to Notre Dame for church. I was really annoyed though how people were allowed to walk around the edges of the inside of the church and take pictures and talk during mass. I found that entirely rude. And also I'm sorry but churches shouldn't have a gift store. I must say though it was one beautiful and amazing church though. The stained glass windows and the architecture were just breath taking.
And now cue The Carpenters. While waiting to meet up with Richard for lunch in the Jewish Quarter, Geoff and I were waiting at a bistro getting some crepes. I never got my chocolate crepe sadly. I pointed to it on the menu and got hot chocolate, but then I met him....Pierre. He was so hairy and would not leave my site. Yes, Pierre was a cat. I hate cats but this random cat jumped on my lap in this cafe and would not leave my sight. He was such a Parisian cat. All he needed was a beret and a cig and he would look so chic. We are now long lost lovers. One day Pierre I will see you again and here you say "le meow".
After saying goodbye to Pierre, I consoled myself with a chocolate eclair. Then we met up with Richard and went to the Jewish Quarter for falaffel. We waited outside for a bit but then the man said go inside and sit down its easier. Little did we know he never said that you had to buy the more expensive platters if we sat down inside instead of the falaffel pitas. I can make a joke, but I'll let you. I see a bit of irony there...
Then after all this it was au vou (I think that is how it spelled). Paris I will be back again someday when I'm rich because I am craving your food as we speak!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Ryan and Brinda Go To Amsterdam
So I can't upload any pics right now because my media card reader isn't working and I am too lazy/busy to fix it, but I am willing to procrastinate enough to blog about this comical weekend in Amsterdam!
It all started Thursday morning. Brinda and I went to the PAWS room to print out our shuttle tickets to the airport. Being the absolute morons that we are be bought round trip tickets, not realizing we were flying into another Stansted and leaving from Luton. The best part none of us never remembered the night before at the Holly Bush when I said, "we're flying out of Luton but coming back to another airport right?". Then, I was frantically rushing to insert the footnotes into my history paper since my computer has Microsoft office starter on it that for some reason does not allow footnotes. I put in all the footnotes and then didn't save the friggin paper. So then I had to insert them all again, then I noticed I referred to one of the author's "Dickinson" as "Dickson" in reference to my Poly Sci professor. Thank god Dame Maggie Smith aka the cat wasn't in the PAWS room. We were such messes.
Now cut to the airport. After a long torturing 40 minute we were in Amsterdam! But the only problem was, we don't know Dutch. I still do not understand a word of that language. For some reason the Dutch can't take my Visa Car only ATMs can so I had to keep going to the ATM and withdraw money. We were not sure which train to get on. So we randomly asked some train attendant, they looked at us and laughed...just laughed in our faces. Then they told us to get on. I think they felt sorry for us because we got on the high speed luxury train when we only bought a ticket for the regular train. We looked back at them and they said, "This is first class" and then they laughed again. So we went to second class. Me being the moron that I am said, "Brinda are we moving?" That is how fast and smooth the train was running. I am now a proponent of high speed rail in the US, especially up the east coast, screw the Acella Express.
Now we're walking around looking for our hostel. Obviously we don't know Dutch and I can't even pronounce the names. That's when I asked, "What would Heidi Klum do?" and then I was reminded she's not Dutch, and apparently nor is Seal. To add insult to injury it began to rain and my umbrella broke. It was a downpour. I won't say anything else. Then after buying some expensive toiletries from a convenient store and having them tell me America is too expensive we went exploring. I love the city I must say. It is so pretty seeing all the tiny row houses. If I had the pics I'd show you. Then for dinner I decided to try the McKroket. I thought it kind of reminded me of a pierogi since it was a fried breading with what looked like potato and cheese on the inside. Turns out, it was beef. My bad...
The red light district. I've never seen so many hookers of so many shapes and sizes in my life, nor do I want to ever ever again. Oh I forgot to mention our room in the hostel. Brinda and I were in a queen sized bed on the top bunk. Fun times. Thursday night was a pain getting to sleep because these French guys were flirting with these German girls who didn't know French so they were using English to talk to them. It was a key example of of foreigners trying to use sarcasm and failing. The one guy would not shut up and was saying something to the effect of "oh I shouldn't be hitting on her because shes a minor and I need to ask her mother for permission". Thank god they were gone the next night.
The next day we went out on bikes with Brinda's friend Lea, one of my new favorite people, and her friends from her study abroad program in Spain. I personally enjoyed biking through the traffic of Amsterdam. It was really windy, but seeing all the canals and the boats going up and down them was so pretty. As was the houses as usual. We then biked around Vondel Park and being the inner child that I am we went down this epic slide in the park. Well the climb to the slide was epic, the slide not so much. We went by the Van Gogh Museum but 14.50 euro to look at paintings...I'll pass. So instead we went to the Sex Museum. Yea... basically it was nothing I couldn't find in a google or xtube search. Basically it was porn, but it was still fun. Since I don't smoke and I would like to possibly have a government job one day, Friday night can best be summed up as this though: Heineken 1-Ryan 0.
Saturday morning started on a wonderful note. We went bike riding again for a bit and finally went to the Anne Frank museum. The line was long but it was worth it. Bit of a let down that Otto Frank refused to restore the annex to how it looked when they were in hiding but it was still a great experience to see how they lived in such tiny rooms trying to avoid being kidnapped. The Heineken Factory didn't happen since it was 15 euro which is a pretty good amount. But who cares when there is pancakes involved. We got some Dutch pancakes for lunch which were so big and soooo good. It was kind of like a crepe topped with bananas, cinnamon, powdered sugar, and syrup. I am a fan.
I don't want to discuss my train ticket purchasing fiasco home because it got me so aggravated and this woman at the ticket counter was so rude I may have said "Dutch Bastard" out loud when I walked away instead of saying it in my head. Oh well...
In conclusion, Amsterdam is a wonderful city, very pretty, not much of a night life minus hookers and pot but it is definitely a city to go on a short 2 day trip to! Now to do my film studies paper...
It all started Thursday morning. Brinda and I went to the PAWS room to print out our shuttle tickets to the airport. Being the absolute morons that we are be bought round trip tickets, not realizing we were flying into another Stansted and leaving from Luton. The best part none of us never remembered the night before at the Holly Bush when I said, "we're flying out of Luton but coming back to another airport right?". Then, I was frantically rushing to insert the footnotes into my history paper since my computer has Microsoft office starter on it that for some reason does not allow footnotes. I put in all the footnotes and then didn't save the friggin paper. So then I had to insert them all again, then I noticed I referred to one of the author's "Dickinson" as "Dickson" in reference to my Poly Sci professor. Thank god Dame Maggie Smith aka the cat wasn't in the PAWS room. We were such messes.
Now cut to the airport. After a long torturing 40 minute we were in Amsterdam! But the only problem was, we don't know Dutch. I still do not understand a word of that language. For some reason the Dutch can't take my Visa Car only ATMs can so I had to keep going to the ATM and withdraw money. We were not sure which train to get on. So we randomly asked some train attendant, they looked at us and laughed...just laughed in our faces. Then they told us to get on. I think they felt sorry for us because we got on the high speed luxury train when we only bought a ticket for the regular train. We looked back at them and they said, "This is first class" and then they laughed again. So we went to second class. Me being the moron that I am said, "Brinda are we moving?" That is how fast and smooth the train was running. I am now a proponent of high speed rail in the US, especially up the east coast, screw the Acella Express.
Now we're walking around looking for our hostel. Obviously we don't know Dutch and I can't even pronounce the names. That's when I asked, "What would Heidi Klum do?" and then I was reminded she's not Dutch, and apparently nor is Seal. To add insult to injury it began to rain and my umbrella broke. It was a downpour. I won't say anything else. Then after buying some expensive toiletries from a convenient store and having them tell me America is too expensive we went exploring. I love the city I must say. It is so pretty seeing all the tiny row houses. If I had the pics I'd show you. Then for dinner I decided to try the McKroket. I thought it kind of reminded me of a pierogi since it was a fried breading with what looked like potato and cheese on the inside. Turns out, it was beef. My bad...
The red light district. I've never seen so many hookers of so many shapes and sizes in my life, nor do I want to ever ever again. Oh I forgot to mention our room in the hostel. Brinda and I were in a queen sized bed on the top bunk. Fun times. Thursday night was a pain getting to sleep because these French guys were flirting with these German girls who didn't know French so they were using English to talk to them. It was a key example of of foreigners trying to use sarcasm and failing. The one guy would not shut up and was saying something to the effect of "oh I shouldn't be hitting on her because shes a minor and I need to ask her mother for permission". Thank god they were gone the next night.
The next day we went out on bikes with Brinda's friend Lea, one of my new favorite people, and her friends from her study abroad program in Spain. I personally enjoyed biking through the traffic of Amsterdam. It was really windy, but seeing all the canals and the boats going up and down them was so pretty. As was the houses as usual. We then biked around Vondel Park and being the inner child that I am we went down this epic slide in the park. Well the climb to the slide was epic, the slide not so much. We went by the Van Gogh Museum but 14.50 euro to look at paintings...I'll pass. So instead we went to the Sex Museum. Yea... basically it was nothing I couldn't find in a google or xtube search. Basically it was porn, but it was still fun. Since I don't smoke and I would like to possibly have a government job one day, Friday night can best be summed up as this though: Heineken 1-Ryan 0.
Saturday morning started on a wonderful note. We went bike riding again for a bit and finally went to the Anne Frank museum. The line was long but it was worth it. Bit of a let down that Otto Frank refused to restore the annex to how it looked when they were in hiding but it was still a great experience to see how they lived in such tiny rooms trying to avoid being kidnapped. The Heineken Factory didn't happen since it was 15 euro which is a pretty good amount. But who cares when there is pancakes involved. We got some Dutch pancakes for lunch which were so big and soooo good. It was kind of like a crepe topped with bananas, cinnamon, powdered sugar, and syrup. I am a fan.
I don't want to discuss my train ticket purchasing fiasco home because it got me so aggravated and this woman at the ticket counter was so rude I may have said "Dutch Bastard" out loud when I walked away instead of saying it in my head. Oh well...
In conclusion, Amsterdam is a wonderful city, very pretty, not much of a night life minus hookers and pot but it is definitely a city to go on a short 2 day trip to! Now to do my film studies paper...
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Going to See the Helen Keller House!
I'm still wet and of course today's forecast in Amsterdam is for heavy rain. I feel like this is a recurring theme in my life, kind of like a motif (I'm procrastinating a sequence analysis for film studies can't you tell?)
This week has been boring the past few days since a lot of people went home for reading week, guess its the equivalent of fall break although I wouldn't know since GW doesn't have one. I was supposed to Skype with my family last night and then I was offered the chance to go to the Holly Bush in Hampstead, the really "proper" English pub. Cider won out as usual so Cory if you are reading this that paper took forever to finish, ok good...
Until a few days ago I was unaware that Amsterdam is home to the Anne Frank house, which for some reason I always confuse with Helen Keller. Don't ask me why I just confuse them. Now that I'm thinking about it there are actually no similarities from which I should ever confuse the two. Oh well...
Well I need to buy some wooden shoes so I will be back in a few days!
This week has been boring the past few days since a lot of people went home for reading week, guess its the equivalent of fall break although I wouldn't know since GW doesn't have one. I was supposed to Skype with my family last night and then I was offered the chance to go to the Holly Bush in Hampstead, the really "proper" English pub. Cider won out as usual so Cory if you are reading this that paper took forever to finish, ok good...
Until a few days ago I was unaware that Amsterdam is home to the Anne Frank house, which for some reason I always confuse with Helen Keller. Don't ask me why I just confuse them. Now that I'm thinking about it there are actually no similarities from which I should ever confuse the two. Oh well...
Well I need to buy some wooden shoes so I will be back in a few days!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
I'm All Wet (Again)
So I forgot to mention this yesterday, but it has been rainy for the past few days in London. Having the luck that I have this means that my umbrella was destined to break, which it did. It basically just collapses on one side and the handle is unable to go down all the way. To quote The Hangover my umbrella is a "re-tard". So basically, once again...I'm all wet!
I have a paper due this week before I leave for Amsterdam on Friday, so naturally I took a trip to Narnia to get some work done. I am quite surprised I must say. I literally spend hours upon hours doing absolutely nothing procrastinating in my room and I think I got just as much work done in the library in two hours. After two hours and 1,000 words (out of 2,000 including footnotes) I had enough magical fun for the day and went back to Hampstead in the rain.
This has been bothering me for a few months now and I think I want to get it out, why exactly on the tube does the woman say: "Customers Blackfriars should alight at Temple and continue their journey at street level." Maybe it's just me but I feel like you need some sort of preposition in between there such as "to" or "for" since two nouns back to back, in this case "customers" and "Blackfriars" makes absolutely no sense at all, where is the proper grammar there? And ever since Geoff stated that the term "way out" is weird I have started thinking the same thing for some reason. Oh and while we are on the subject of tube etiquette and grammar, this is a kind word of advice for all my non-English speaking friends: you stand to the right! And also, when playing music, headphones were invented for a reason, use them. I love how people claim not to know English and ignore the signs but listen to American music, so ironic.
I also got one of my papers back today and I simply do not understand the British grading system, which apparently is now going to be Americanized but still using their numbers. For example, a B is a 60-64, and A is a 70-79. Apparently if you get higher then an A you are like Einstein and should have your work published in Oxford.
And to show that I still pay attention to American news, I was informed that Alvin Greene called the DNC to ask how much it would cost to run for President. God help us everyone.
Hopefully I will stay dry tomorrow!
I have a paper due this week before I leave for Amsterdam on Friday, so naturally I took a trip to Narnia to get some work done. I am quite surprised I must say. I literally spend hours upon hours doing absolutely nothing procrastinating in my room and I think I got just as much work done in the library in two hours. After two hours and 1,000 words (out of 2,000 including footnotes) I had enough magical fun for the day and went back to Hampstead in the rain.
This has been bothering me for a few months now and I think I want to get it out, why exactly on the tube does the woman say: "Customers Blackfriars should alight at Temple and continue their journey at street level." Maybe it's just me but I feel like you need some sort of preposition in between there such as "to" or "for" since two nouns back to back, in this case "customers" and "Blackfriars" makes absolutely no sense at all, where is the proper grammar there? And ever since Geoff stated that the term "way out" is weird I have started thinking the same thing for some reason. Oh and while we are on the subject of tube etiquette and grammar, this is a kind word of advice for all my non-English speaking friends: you stand to the right! And also, when playing music, headphones were invented for a reason, use them. I love how people claim not to know English and ignore the signs but listen to American music, so ironic.
I also got one of my papers back today and I simply do not understand the British grading system, which apparently is now going to be Americanized but still using their numbers. For example, a B is a 60-64, and A is a 70-79. Apparently if you get higher then an A you are like Einstein and should have your work published in Oxford.
And to show that I still pay attention to American news, I was informed that Alvin Greene called the DNC to ask how much it would cost to run for President. God help us everyone.
Hopefully I will stay dry tomorrow!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Pilgrimage to Harrod's
My first thoughts upon walking into Harrod's can be summed up as this: holy shit... I have never seen so much stuff under one roof ever in my life, most of which, at my current point in life I am too poor to afford. Let me give you an example, one of the cheapest things there, which I bought was a piece of goat cheese and spinach quiche for 1.95pounds. It was really good though so I suppose you do pay for quality. The cheapest thing we found in the store was a mini sausage roll for 50p (you get 8 for a pound at Morrison's). After being amazed by the variety of food they had in the food halls and I mean anything, we ended up walking into the ladies department since naturally I went with the girls. They had some nice watches in the jewelry section for men, too bad they started at 1000 pounds. The dress and shoe sections, well lets just say it looked like something Jill Zarin from RHONY would make Bobby buy her. These shoes were so expensive they were on display like they were in a museum. Price? Don't even ask, because if you need to it means you cannot afford it.
Since I wouldn't wear, let alone purchase any Prada or D&G women's clothing. I was way more interested in the pet section. They had the cutest 1000 pound puppies and a selection of hamsters and gerbils for quite cheap. They also had a pet salon. One dog no lie was getting massaged while another had its nails painted purple. If your dog needed exercise, they had a treadmill with 101 Dalmatians playing for your dog to walk
on.
After seeing the dogs get pampered we got in touch with our inner children and went to the toy section! I would like to thank my family now for spoiling me on Thomas the Tank Engine wooden trains as a child; saw the price tag, quite pricey. Apparently now they light up too and have censors so they know what other trains are near them so they can talk?! What happened to using your damn imagination! By this point we are all making a scene at the display of the toy pig that walks, snorts, and grunts, talking about how we want to buy one as our floor pig. I then see a guy making snow. Naturally I got in touch with my inner five year old and had to join in and make some.
Finally we went to the men's department after some food. I found a really nice sweater that had an insulated vest built into it (if that makes any sense) by D&G. I really liked it, then I saw that it cost 995pounds. That was the end of that. Also there were some really nice shoes in the shoe department. I'm not cheap, but I when the cheapest pair is 150pounds, I think I'm gonna have to pass. Saw the Diana and Dodi Memorial. It's almost on the verge of being...shrine/cult..ish? The literally have what was believed to be the last cup she drank out of on display.
Then last but not least we went to the Christmas section! Nothing exciting, typical Christmas section but I thought I'd include it.
Check out the online store and the dress code (yes there is one to get in here)!
Since I wouldn't wear, let alone purchase any Prada or D&G women's clothing. I was way more interested in the pet section. They had the cutest 1000 pound puppies and a selection of hamsters and gerbils for quite cheap. They also had a pet salon. One dog no lie was getting massaged while another had its nails painted purple. If your dog needed exercise, they had a treadmill with 101 Dalmatians playing for your dog to walk
on.
After seeing the dogs get pampered we got in touch with our inner children and went to the toy section! I would like to thank my family now for spoiling me on Thomas the Tank Engine wooden trains as a child; saw the price tag, quite pricey. Apparently now they light up too and have censors so they know what other trains are near them so they can talk?! What happened to using your damn imagination! By this point we are all making a scene at the display of the toy pig that walks, snorts, and grunts, talking about how we want to buy one as our floor pig. I then see a guy making snow. Naturally I got in touch with my inner five year old and had to join in and make some.
Finally we went to the men's department after some food. I found a really nice sweater that had an insulated vest built into it (if that makes any sense) by D&G. I really liked it, then I saw that it cost 995pounds. That was the end of that. Also there were some really nice shoes in the shoe department. I'm not cheap, but I when the cheapest pair is 150pounds, I think I'm gonna have to pass. Saw the Diana and Dodi Memorial. It's almost on the verge of being...shrine/cult..ish? The literally have what was believed to be the last cup she drank out of on display.
Then last but not least we went to the Christmas section! Nothing exciting, typical Christmas section but I thought I'd include it.
Check out the online store and the dress code (yes there is one to get in here)!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
UFF!
Uff is quite possibly the greatest word that actually has no real meaning. Eve said everyone in Madrid says it for everything and now it is my favorite word to say too, so Londoners beware.
Friday was an interesting day which started with my War Studies session. I think Hermione may have had a coronary because he (yes the person I call Hermione is a girl) was just grunting when he got disgusted by peoples opinions and responses. This combined with the constant raising of his hands led to me laughing constantly, which I did not care about at this point. GW registration meant I missed my history class, and for once it went smoothly for the most part. One class that I wanted is currently restricted to majors only but life goes on. I would have rather sat and watched paint dry for an hour instead of go to history discussion because a) I find the TA to be pretty boring and way too philosophical in his approach to the British Empire and b) this girl I got put in a group with talks way too much. Guess the main theme I am trying to get at here is that I am not the biggest fan of brown nosers.
And this is where my weekend gets sooooooooo much better. First of all, I got my new laptop finally and then Geoff and Eve were in London so thats when the fun started! Our Friday evening consisted of a few bars and a "proper" indian meal. On the way to the resturaunt though a woman asked me if I was English, as in the nationality. Naturally Geoff and Eve said no, but I said kind of. She wanted to know where the Victoria tube station was. Well...given the fog in St. James's Park I could not see the sign that said where the station was, even though I knew it was close. I was so caught off guard because I realized "shit its really foggy". By response was, "Ok I'm not that English" and walked away.
Now back to the resturaunt. Let me say for 12.50 this was a really good meal. We got a little bit of everything, what was in it...I am not too sure but it was really good. My favorite personally was the nan and the potato pancake like ball with the taziki-ish cucumber sauce. And in addition it was dinner and a show! Next to us was the most charming Scottish man who for the record was not drunk. He asked if we were American since he heard us talking. He LOVED America. He then went on to talking about how it was his favorite country (other then the UK) and asked us about our history. According to him FDR, Reagan, and Thatcher were his favorite US and UK leaders, and then by this point he fell out of his chair. But remember he wasn't drunk he just lost his balance. He then discussed that no one seems to like Carter because he didn't do much. He then ended his conversation by hand shaking our hands and asking that we continue the special bond and friendship because we are best friends. Naturally I said of course because I love the Brits and then he started singing what he claimed was "God Bless America". Awkward silence ensued because it wasn't the right song so I screamed "God save the Queen!" He said, "She needs it," and then he walked out the door.
The next day was action backed with all the touristy things around London starting with the Science Museum. The best part by far was the interactive area despite the fact that we were way too old to be in there and probably should have been asked to leave. Then Eve played "Energy Ninjas" which I swear is indoctrination because it was trying to get you to recycle and rat out your neighbors for buring garbage or something like that. That was followed by Buckingham Palace, the Diana Memorial (which I found this time), and some Bergs and Mash for lunch with some cider. While at Hyde Park we found the Perter Pan statue. This is a public service announcement to all parent: Don't let your kids just climb all over statues, especially when people are trying to take pictures, and especially don't go over to get them off the statue and then proceed to show them every animal that is covered on the statue.
Then we finally found some poppies so we fit in. The Brits wear them to comemorate WWI basically. Eve and Geoff got the whole story from some guy when they landed so I'm gonna go with it. With our poppies freshly pinned on our coats we were then off the the Tower of London, Harrod's, and Abbey Road. Abbey Road...is full of traffic...so I don't know how the Beatles were able to cross the street. I got an OK picture trying to do so. And finally after weeks of epic build up I finally FINALLY had some fish and chips with them at The Flask in Hampstead. It was really good, and thank god the tartar sauce was good because if it was that crap from Morrison's I bought I would have been pissed.
I was a wonderful weekend to say the least. Uff!
 |
| Peter Pan Statue |
And this is where my weekend gets sooooooooo much better. First of all, I got my new laptop finally and then Geoff and Eve were in London so thats when the fun started! Our Friday evening consisted of a few bars and a "proper" indian meal. On the way to the resturaunt though a woman asked me if I was English, as in the nationality. Naturally Geoff and Eve said no, but I said kind of. She wanted to know where the Victoria tube station was. Well...given the fog in St. James's Park I could not see the sign that said where the station was, even though I knew it was close. I was so caught off guard because I realized "shit its really foggy". By response was, "Ok I'm not that English" and walked away.
 |
| Buckingham Palace |
 |
| National History Museum |
 |
| With our poppies! |
Then we finally found some poppies so we fit in. The Brits wear them to comemorate WWI basically. Eve and Geoff got the whole story from some guy when they landed so I'm gonna go with it. With our poppies freshly pinned on our coats we were then off the the Tower of London, Harrod's, and Abbey Road. Abbey Road...is full of traffic...so I don't know how the Beatles were able to cross the street. I got an OK picture trying to do so. And finally after weeks of epic build up I finally FINALLY had some fish and chips with them at The Flask in Hampstead. It was really good, and thank god the tartar sauce was good because if it was that crap from Morrison's I bought I would have been pissed.
 |
| Abbey Road |
I was a wonderful weekend to say the least. Uff!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Chillin With My Boys Churchill and Earl G
I am so sick of sasuage rolls, their novelty kind of wore out after the like tenth one that I've had in the past week or so. I swear in some ways I am losing my sanity here. I walked into Tesco and saw that they are selling a single Krisy Kreme donut for £1.20 and just laughed. Like really, I was standing there all by my lonesome just laughing because there is no way in hell anyone in the US would ever pay the about $1.80 equivalent for a friggin glazed Krisy Kreme donut. Those are the thing you buy in a pack of a dozen for like $5 from kids trying to raise money going to Peru, when you're commuting to work, outside the metro. Oh and if you wanted a really nice fancy donut it was at least £2. Then were talking $3. Gotta love the 17.5% VAT.
Today GW took did something touristy with us, aka I had a full decent meal. We went to the Churchill War Rooms. Which were really cool to see seeing as Churchill is my boy and all. Sad thing is my laptop isn't here yet so I can't upload the pics. That was one massive underground complex the Brits had to keep the government going during WWII. Then before we went to the National Portrait Gallery I walked over to St. James Park. I was watching this lady feed the ducks that were across the fence and I noticed one on the other side of the path. I thought to myself, "ok how did that little guy get over here." I walk over to take a picture of him since he was so close. I get right in front of him and the little son of a bitch just jumps up, flapping his winds, and flies off to the pond. Damn duck almost killed me. Between the cat, which I swear is Dame Maggie Smith transfigurated, and birds in the country, some animal is going to do massive harm to me.
And then we went to the National Gallery for tea. All that was missing were cute old British ladies playing bridge (totally stereotyping, and probably false in addition so my appologies). I had my favorite tea in the world, Earl Grey Tea, which in all honestly I only had in my Aunt's chocolates before trying it today. In addition to that we also had a carott cake, ginger snaps, scones, egg salad, ham sandwiches, and what I think was chesse and chutney sandwiches? Best part was the view from which you can see all of central London.
Also, I don't think I mentioned this apparently Marie is Maria, since I just realized the cleaner can speak some sort of quasi-spanish. Me and her are now best buddies. It was kind of like my "Oh stewardess, I speak jive" moment when I realized she could speak Spanish.
Geoff and Eve are coming this weekend, should be amazing! Plus I will never have to use the PAWS room after tomorrow! So maybe, just maybe, I'll get some work done finally.
Oh and lets make this clear apparently Americans are so stupid because we elected "that actor" President. I'll leave it at that.
Today GW took did something touristy with us, aka I had a full decent meal. We went to the Churchill War Rooms. Which were really cool to see seeing as Churchill is my boy and all. Sad thing is my laptop isn't here yet so I can't upload the pics. That was one massive underground complex the Brits had to keep the government going during WWII. Then before we went to the National Portrait Gallery I walked over to St. James Park. I was watching this lady feed the ducks that were across the fence and I noticed one on the other side of the path. I thought to myself, "ok how did that little guy get over here." I walk over to take a picture of him since he was so close. I get right in front of him and the little son of a bitch just jumps up, flapping his winds, and flies off to the pond. Damn duck almost killed me. Between the cat, which I swear is Dame Maggie Smith transfigurated, and birds in the country, some animal is going to do massive harm to me.
And then we went to the National Gallery for tea. All that was missing were cute old British ladies playing bridge (totally stereotyping, and probably false in addition so my appologies). I had my favorite tea in the world, Earl Grey Tea, which in all honestly I only had in my Aunt's chocolates before trying it today. In addition to that we also had a carott cake, ginger snaps, scones, egg salad, ham sandwiches, and what I think was chesse and chutney sandwiches? Best part was the view from which you can see all of central London.
Also, I don't think I mentioned this apparently Marie is Maria, since I just realized the cleaner can speak some sort of quasi-spanish. Me and her are now best buddies. It was kind of like my "Oh stewardess, I speak jive" moment when I realized she could speak Spanish.
Geoff and Eve are coming this weekend, should be amazing! Plus I will never have to use the PAWS room after tomorrow! So maybe, just maybe, I'll get some work done finally.
Oh and lets make this clear apparently Americans are so stupid because we elected "that actor" President. I'll leave it at that.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Sherlock Holmes Did Cocaine?
Yes, I did not know that but when doing the reading for Film Studies today I learned that Sherlock Holmes had a liking for cocaine and that Blake Edwards (Julie Andrew's husband) directed Breakfast at Tiffany's. This is how sad my life has become. But wait it gets sadder...
So the computer guy calls me today and says that my laptop has a motherboard problem because everytime he installs the new video card in it, the computer overpowers and just dies. He then proceedes to tell me that if I want that fixed it will cost £250 in addition to the service charge. I then asked him how long it would take he said, "I don't know I will call you back in a bit, but it will be long and £250. Cheers!" Then he hung up... Maybe its just me coming from the perspective of someone who does not say "cheers" on a daily basis, but saying that after telling me it's gonna cost me a shit ton to get my laptop fixed after not having it for a week was the equivalent of saying, "Ryan, I have bad news, grandma died...but have a great time at the funeral!"
I'm still waiting on the guy to call me back. Glad I'm not sitting by the phone or anything in anticipation. So now my newest plan is to buy a new laptop. Since the cheapest Mac here cost $1,300 and no I can't buy a computer from the US store in the UK I am buying one from Dell (again). Since I pay 75cents a minute on my phone I chatted with Dell online to call me since I discovered that I could not pay with a US debit card in the Dell UK store, and for some reason you can't buy them in any UK store. So I rush back from the PAWS room to get the phone call, give him all my personal information, and then you know what Raj (that was his real name) says to me, "Sorry sir your card is declined." And then I google maps, outlined the route to Tower Bridge and proceeded to jump off it...no in all honesty I didn't I just went back to the PAWS room and did it again after I got my bank to allow the charge. Only problem I still have yet to get that call back from Dell. I only have two papers due in the next two weeks but thats ok, take your time Dell.
So you know what was the highlight of my night? Going to Tesco at 9pm when everything is put on reduced!! Tonight's super deals included 19p pancakes and a tube of Quality Street we all split for only $4.50, original retail price £10.00. Yes reduced chocolate was my highlight. All I need is a tube of icecream and a British accent and gain about 50 pounds and I'll probably the male version of Bridget Jones given all the bad luck I have. Thank Jesus Geoff and Eve are coming this weekend!
So the computer guy calls me today and says that my laptop has a motherboard problem because everytime he installs the new video card in it, the computer overpowers and just dies. He then proceedes to tell me that if I want that fixed it will cost £250 in addition to the service charge. I then asked him how long it would take he said, "I don't know I will call you back in a bit, but it will be long and £250. Cheers!" Then he hung up... Maybe its just me coming from the perspective of someone who does not say "cheers" on a daily basis, but saying that after telling me it's gonna cost me a shit ton to get my laptop fixed after not having it for a week was the equivalent of saying, "Ryan, I have bad news, grandma died...but have a great time at the funeral!"
I'm still waiting on the guy to call me back. Glad I'm not sitting by the phone or anything in anticipation. So now my newest plan is to buy a new laptop. Since the cheapest Mac here cost $1,300 and no I can't buy a computer from the US store in the UK I am buying one from Dell (again). Since I pay 75cents a minute on my phone I chatted with Dell online to call me since I discovered that I could not pay with a US debit card in the Dell UK store, and for some reason you can't buy them in any UK store. So I rush back from the PAWS room to get the phone call, give him all my personal information, and then you know what Raj (that was his real name) says to me, "Sorry sir your card is declined." And then I google maps, outlined the route to Tower Bridge and proceeded to jump off it...no in all honesty I didn't I just went back to the PAWS room and did it again after I got my bank to allow the charge. Only problem I still have yet to get that call back from Dell. I only have two papers due in the next two weeks but thats ok, take your time Dell.
So you know what was the highlight of my night? Going to Tesco at 9pm when everything is put on reduced!! Tonight's super deals included 19p pancakes and a tube of Quality Street we all split for only $4.50, original retail price £10.00. Yes reduced chocolate was my highlight. All I need is a tube of icecream and a British accent and gain about 50 pounds and I'll probably the male version of Bridget Jones given all the bad luck I have. Thank Jesus Geoff and Eve are coming this weekend!
Monday, November 1, 2010
You Talk Way Too Much
I was deciding on boycotting the blog until I got my laptop fixed but oh well I gave in. Ok WTF... First of all lets backtrack to Friday night. Who in their right civilized mind would ever think it is cool to cum (yes CUM as in ejaculate sperm) onto someone's door handle. It wasn't mine but really I swear I live with utter scumbags sometimes. I've also come to realize that while indie music is good to listen to on your ipod during rush hour on the tube, it is not my favorite kind of music to dance to and in all honesty I am over going to clubs like that. Plus they also play the same shit over and over and over. Just once, just ONCE I would love a club to play "I Like It" Enrique Inglesias, I don't know why but I am determined to hear that song played. The closest thing they play to a current pop song here in the UK is friggin "I Got A Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas which last time I checked is so Summer 2009 or some of Rhianna's new shit, which quite honestly I am getting sick of. We know Chris Brown hit you, he's wortless, lets move on now...
Saturday I attempted to make custard. I just hate the metric system, safe to say it was an epic fail and came out like soup. From now on I am sticking to Jaffa Cakes.
Now to Sunday night. I went as Wolverine, which I must say looked pretty damn good. I don't have the pics uploaded yet since the laptop is still getting repaired. I was enjoying myself and my two liter bottle of Strongbow but then we went to this hot as balls club in London Bridge. First of all, London DJs stop stopping songs midway through and then restarting them. Secondly, AC was invented for a reason, we should really use it. I'm not a fan of sweating in a massive moshpit of people dressed up in halloween costumes with one hand not functioning because I have tinfoil claws attatched to them. Even the cheap alcohol did not justify the massive heat stroke I almost had because it was so damn hot in there. And then the trip home...I was just tired let's just leave it at that. I am sticking to Soho from now on for clubbing, more my scene.
Although this morning I woke up and probably went to class with eye liner still on but you know what I could care less. Tube delays caused me to almost be late for class. It took me an hour to get from Hampstead to Strand because of a signal failure (what else is new) on the Jubilee line. But then I got to class and Hermione was talking as usual, WAY TOO MUCH, but I've come to ignore that. Today Snape was going on about how the British are starting to say "Zee" instead of "Zed" in reference to the letter "Z" I swear the man is out to get me based on my twang...
So I think the moral of the story for all of this is you can't fix stupid.
Saturday I attempted to make custard. I just hate the metric system, safe to say it was an epic fail and came out like soup. From now on I am sticking to Jaffa Cakes.
Now to Sunday night. I went as Wolverine, which I must say looked pretty damn good. I don't have the pics uploaded yet since the laptop is still getting repaired. I was enjoying myself and my two liter bottle of Strongbow but then we went to this hot as balls club in London Bridge. First of all, London DJs stop stopping songs midway through and then restarting them. Secondly, AC was invented for a reason, we should really use it. I'm not a fan of sweating in a massive moshpit of people dressed up in halloween costumes with one hand not functioning because I have tinfoil claws attatched to them. Even the cheap alcohol did not justify the massive heat stroke I almost had because it was so damn hot in there. And then the trip home...I was just tired let's just leave it at that. I am sticking to Soho from now on for clubbing, more my scene.
Although this morning I woke up and probably went to class with eye liner still on but you know what I could care less. Tube delays caused me to almost be late for class. It took me an hour to get from Hampstead to Strand because of a signal failure (what else is new) on the Jubilee line. But then I got to class and Hermione was talking as usual, WAY TOO MUCH, but I've come to ignore that. Today Snape was going on about how the British are starting to say "Zee" instead of "Zed" in reference to the letter "Z" I swear the man is out to get me based on my twang...
So I think the moral of the story for all of this is you can't fix stupid.
Friday, October 29, 2010
You Need Lots of Lubrication...
Yes that actually came out of a middle aged woman's voice yesterday at the taping of the Graham Norton Show...more on that in a bit.
Let me say though that taping was one of the funniest things I have seen in awhile, despite the fact Joan Rivers is going to be on next week and I did not really know who most of his guests were. It all started standing in line with the lovely lesbians behind us freaking out because all the people with the yello wristbands got in first. There was no need to worry though lezzie, we had seats. Graham comes out and one of the first things he says before filming the intro is, "There is always some FUCKER who is sitting behind me looking tired and bored." Just the way he said it made me laugh so hard I have no clue why. The guests were Lord Alan Sugar, host of the British Apprentice (so naturally there was a joke about Donald Trump in there), comedian Lee Mack, some chick from Strictly Come Dancing aka Dancing With the Stars Pamela Stephenson, and James Blunt. Yes the guy who sang that overplayed song "Beautiful" is still around and actually his song is quite catchy.
British TV is way more raunchier then Americans because you know were freak out because Janet Jackson's tit flashed on the screen for two seconds, let alone MTV talking about masterbation. Since Pamela Stephenson (who I just looked up was on SNL from 1984-1985 and Superman III) is now a psycologist Graham had some audience members respond to letters sent to Pamela by some of her clients. The most disgusting was the one about a 91yr old still having an active sex life despite the fact she doesn't orgasm and her husband only gets tiny erections. The funniest was when someone wrong "My husband spends about 20 hours a day pleasuring himself and never had time for me. I haven't orgasmed in years. Graham asked an audience member for advice and this middle aged (probably late 50s) said, "Get lots of lubrication and go join him." Probably the funniest, yet most awkward thing I have heard in a long time. That on top of Pamela Stephenson dancing with Graham and having him ride up against her "nunu". I'll let you decide what that means.
Lord Alan Sugar (I love saying that name) was kind of dry and talked a lot. Especially when he started talking about politics. Apparently James Blunt was in the military? He also uses marmite before each performance to "lub up" his vocal cords. All in all it was an excellent show. Be sure to watch on BBC1 or BBC America tonight, maybe you will see me, upper part of the audience, three rows back middle section, three seats in!
Also, since my computer is going to take a week to fix this wonderful post is brought to you buy the Maughan Library basement floor aka the dungeon (no literally there are jail cells here)...
Let me say though that taping was one of the funniest things I have seen in awhile, despite the fact Joan Rivers is going to be on next week and I did not really know who most of his guests were. It all started standing in line with the lovely lesbians behind us freaking out because all the people with the yello wristbands got in first. There was no need to worry though lezzie, we had seats. Graham comes out and one of the first things he says before filming the intro is, "There is always some FUCKER who is sitting behind me looking tired and bored." Just the way he said it made me laugh so hard I have no clue why. The guests were Lord Alan Sugar, host of the British Apprentice (so naturally there was a joke about Donald Trump in there), comedian Lee Mack, some chick from Strictly Come Dancing aka Dancing With the Stars Pamela Stephenson, and James Blunt. Yes the guy who sang that overplayed song "Beautiful" is still around and actually his song is quite catchy.
British TV is way more raunchier then Americans because you know were freak out because Janet Jackson's tit flashed on the screen for two seconds, let alone MTV talking about masterbation. Since Pamela Stephenson (who I just looked up was on SNL from 1984-1985 and Superman III) is now a psycologist Graham had some audience members respond to letters sent to Pamela by some of her clients. The most disgusting was the one about a 91yr old still having an active sex life despite the fact she doesn't orgasm and her husband only gets tiny erections. The funniest was when someone wrong "My husband spends about 20 hours a day pleasuring himself and never had time for me. I haven't orgasmed in years. Graham asked an audience member for advice and this middle aged (probably late 50s) said, "Get lots of lubrication and go join him." Probably the funniest, yet most awkward thing I have heard in a long time. That on top of Pamela Stephenson dancing with Graham and having him ride up against her "nunu". I'll let you decide what that means.
Lord Alan Sugar (I love saying that name) was kind of dry and talked a lot. Especially when he started talking about politics. Apparently James Blunt was in the military? He also uses marmite before each performance to "lub up" his vocal cords. All in all it was an excellent show. Be sure to watch on BBC1 or BBC America tonight, maybe you will see me, upper part of the audience, three rows back middle section, three seats in!
Also, since my computer is going to take a week to fix this wonderful post is brought to you buy the Maughan Library basement floor aka the dungeon (no literally there are jail cells here)...
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Well This Just Sucks
I have finally recovered from the trauma that was yesterday. It all started when I was doing the laundry in the rain (as usual). When I came back from putting more money to increase the time on the drier my screen died. This is all i needed.
I simply couldn't wait to see what was wrong with my laptop so I just ran to the PAWS room on campus (which I'm gonna assume stand for Print and Work Station?) to contact my family. Naturally it was friggin 6am in the US so that was no help. Thankfully I found a computer repair store on the Strand because buying a new laptop was simply out of the question. Basically laptops here cost the same only in pounds...so yeah...don't have that much money. Initially it was going to cost £220 to fix my laptop. Then to add to the chaos I got an email from GW saying they paid for my housing....So basically I paid TWICE for my housing. In a nutshell I lost like over $2,000 in a span of one hour yesterday. To add insult to injury while walking home I got wet my shoe soaked when I stepped in a puddle accidently. So I spent my night in the PAWS room where all the cool kids hang out. I was sitting here minding my own business and out of no where some friggin cat came up next to me. I nearly shit my pants because initially I thought,"SHIT this thing probably is wild and has rabies or something." Apparently I didn't get the memo that we have a "campus cat"...what a waste of money!? At least get a dog.
To add to my frustration I decided to skip go to the screening for my Film Studies. Today they placed a clip of the movie that I missed, Pierrot Le Fou. Thank god I did not stay. All I thought based on this two minute clip was WTF.French people doing impressions of Vietnamese and Americans just blabbling in Vietnamese and saying "New York", "Hollywood"...It made a Quentin Tarantino film look normal.
But today I got some good news. First, I will get my money refunded ASAP, probably by tomorrow which is good. GW is sorting out my financial status thank god. The laptop is not going to cost nearly as much as estimated, but it is going to take a week...fair trade off I guess. So for next week me and the PAWS room are gonna be best buddies. Also, I decided that for Halloween I am going as Wolverine.
Thank god Ana Quijano posted NPH videos on my wall so I can watch them when I feel down and lonely sitting in this room that is so hot I'm sweating my balls off with some stupid cat.
Graham Norton tomorrow!
I simply couldn't wait to see what was wrong with my laptop so I just ran to the PAWS room on campus (which I'm gonna assume stand for Print and Work Station?) to contact my family. Naturally it was friggin 6am in the US so that was no help. Thankfully I found a computer repair store on the Strand because buying a new laptop was simply out of the question. Basically laptops here cost the same only in pounds...so yeah...don't have that much money. Initially it was going to cost £220 to fix my laptop. Then to add to the chaos I got an email from GW saying they paid for my housing....So basically I paid TWICE for my housing. In a nutshell I lost like over $2,000 in a span of one hour yesterday. To add insult to injury while walking home I got wet my shoe soaked when I stepped in a puddle accidently. So I spent my night in the PAWS room where all the cool kids hang out. I was sitting here minding my own business and out of no where some friggin cat came up next to me. I nearly shit my pants because initially I thought,"SHIT this thing probably is wild and has rabies or something." Apparently I didn't get the memo that we have a "campus cat"...what a waste of money!? At least get a dog.
To add to my frustration I decided to skip go to the screening for my Film Studies. Today they placed a clip of the movie that I missed, Pierrot Le Fou. Thank god I did not stay. All I thought based on this two minute clip was WTF.French people doing impressions of Vietnamese and Americans just blabbling in Vietnamese and saying "New York", "Hollywood"...It made a Quentin Tarantino film look normal.
But today I got some good news. First, I will get my money refunded ASAP, probably by tomorrow which is good. GW is sorting out my financial status thank god. The laptop is not going to cost nearly as much as estimated, but it is going to take a week...fair trade off I guess. So for next week me and the PAWS room are gonna be best buddies. Also, I decided that for Halloween I am going as Wolverine.
Thank god Ana Quijano posted NPH videos on my wall so I can watch them when I feel down and lonely sitting in this room that is so hot I'm sweating my balls off with some stupid cat.
Graham Norton tomorrow!
Monday, October 25, 2010
My Red Chair Story
As some of you know I have tickets for the Graham Norton Show on Thursday. I am really excited except for the fact that at next week's taping JOAN RIVERS is going to be his guest. All I get to see is some Lee Mack and James Blunt. Anyways they have a segment called "The Red Chair", where viewers are asked to submit crazy or unusual stories and the best ones get to tell them on air. Nothing is too risque. Only catch it if Graham and the guests don't like you, they get to pull a lever which kicks you out of the chair. It's free to try so I figured what the hell here is mine. WARNING the squeamish should not read on:
So my Red Chair story involves me, my parents, and my dog. I was sitting in the living room one evening watching some show and heard my mother screaming "RYAN come quick!! There's something wrong with the dog." My mom freaks out if the dog's stomach growls so naturally I ignored her. She calls out to me again saying that her and her boyfriend think the dog has a tumor. Then my brother comes in laughing and says "Go look." My mother is panicking and dialing my father, her ex-husband, to see if she can do anything. She starts screaming "John it looks like a Slim Jim, I pushing the 'tumor' in with a paper towel but it doesn't go away, it won't go down." By this point I come into the room. I look at him and notice something is bigger then usual. I look at her and say "Mom, Chewy has a boner", and all you hear is my dad dying laughing on the phone laughing at his ex wife saying, "We'll jeez maybe that's why, he's probably enjoying it." Apparently the dog is turned on by my brother's leg and started humping it that's why he was laughing so hard. Long story short, my mom unbeknownst to her was jacking off the dog. Thank God he was fixed...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Strawberry Gate
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| Greek Vase from Athens, Notice woman picking her nose |
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| Statues from Parthenon |
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| Rosetta Stone |
Next Sunday is Halloween already I need an idea for a costume! Since I look like a vampire I may end up going as that but I want to do something different/ interesting. Plus Graham Norton this week, which apparently I forgot to thank my Aunt Victoria for emailing me the mailing list for tickets. All my family does is bitch so they get mentioned in this blog (I still love all of you dearly).
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| This is actually a clock |
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| Mummies! |
I'll now leave you with the statue that the woman next to me claimed looked like Osama Bin Laden:
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| Osama? |
Saturday, October 23, 2010
The Boykos Are in Code Red
Yes, huge catastrophe, but more on that in a bit.
Last night we did the whole pub hopping scene in Hampstead. Our first stop was the Holly Bush, which is apparently Jamie Oliver aka the Naked Chef's favorite pub in London. It had that HIMYM feeling to it; all that was missing was my boy NPH and the night would have just been magical. Since it was pretty posh it was actually cheaper for a mixed drink then a pint of beer or cider. Sitting there gossiping about life and such made me feel like we really were Ted, Robin, Marshall, Lilly, and Barney sitting at MacClaren's. At one point I felt like walking up to some random stranger and saying, "Haaaaaaaaaaavvvveee ya met Ted?", and walk away.
Today me and a few of the girls went to Covent Gardens. Thankfully I was stopped from buying three pairs of shoes just from window shopping. I must say though, I don't really see the appeal of vintage clothes shopping. All of the men's stuff smelled of mothballs and was more vibrant then a sweater Bill Cosby would wear. I also am not a fan of wearing previously worn shoes. I just can't pull off the whole vintage look. After three stores of just that I had enough...
...but I was rewarded with a cupcake from Ella's Bakehouse, which I feel is worthy of some promotion here! I had the Banoffee which to quote my mother's idol and the most annoying cook in America, Rachel Ray, was "delish". I will definitley be coming back to Covent Garden for some shoe shopping and some more cupcakes!
After my cupcake I tried sausage rolls for the first time for dinner. I must say linked sausage and puff pastry is one of the most ingenious combinations ever made. High up on my list of great English foods with Jaffa Cakes.
And thanks to Fox and the New York Yankees for ruining my evening. Since they lost last night the Phillies game tonight was moved from 8:00pm UK time to 1:00AM...thanks....
Now to the crisis that is rice being $1.25 at Walmart. I am in the middle of telling my Aunt Victoria about my day and all my grandmother and uncle (based on the conversation I'll assume Uncle Paul) care about that rice is friggin $1.25 at Walmart. I'm trying to tell them about my day, about how lovely it was and all anyone cares about it that rice is $`1.25 at Walmart. To add to the chaos its $1.97 in Publix. It is safe to say the Boykos are operating under code red tonight because of the cost of friggin rice. And because they weren't listening to me I will tell them here what I was trying to tell them. They were selling ugly truffles in one store for 60p, unlike the beautiful ones my Aunt makes at Viktoria Richards, but no all we care about is the price of rice in China.
Last night we did the whole pub hopping scene in Hampstead. Our first stop was the Holly Bush, which is apparently Jamie Oliver aka the Naked Chef's favorite pub in London. It had that HIMYM feeling to it; all that was missing was my boy NPH and the night would have just been magical. Since it was pretty posh it was actually cheaper for a mixed drink then a pint of beer or cider. Sitting there gossiping about life and such made me feel like we really were Ted, Robin, Marshall, Lilly, and Barney sitting at MacClaren's. At one point I felt like walking up to some random stranger and saying, "Haaaaaaaaaaavvvveee ya met Ted?", and walk away.
Today me and a few of the girls went to Covent Gardens. Thankfully I was stopped from buying three pairs of shoes just from window shopping. I must say though, I don't really see the appeal of vintage clothes shopping. All of the men's stuff smelled of mothballs and was more vibrant then a sweater Bill Cosby would wear. I also am not a fan of wearing previously worn shoes. I just can't pull off the whole vintage look. After three stores of just that I had enough...
...but I was rewarded with a cupcake from Ella's Bakehouse, which I feel is worthy of some promotion here! I had the Banoffee which to quote my mother's idol and the most annoying cook in America, Rachel Ray, was "delish". I will definitley be coming back to Covent Garden for some shoe shopping and some more cupcakes!
After my cupcake I tried sausage rolls for the first time for dinner. I must say linked sausage and puff pastry is one of the most ingenious combinations ever made. High up on my list of great English foods with Jaffa Cakes.
And thanks to Fox and the New York Yankees for ruining my evening. Since they lost last night the Phillies game tonight was moved from 8:00pm UK time to 1:00AM...thanks....
Now to the crisis that is rice being $1.25 at Walmart. I am in the middle of telling my Aunt Victoria about my day and all my grandmother and uncle (based on the conversation I'll assume Uncle Paul) care about that rice is friggin $1.25 at Walmart. I'm trying to tell them about my day, about how lovely it was and all anyone cares about it that rice is $`1.25 at Walmart. To add to the chaos its $1.97 in Publix. It is safe to say the Boykos are operating under code red tonight because of the cost of friggin rice. And because they weren't listening to me I will tell them here what I was trying to tell them. They were selling ugly truffles in one store for 60p, unlike the beautiful ones my Aunt makes at Viktoria Richards, but no all we care about is the price of rice in China.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Too. Much. Vinegar.
I always wanted to see the Princess Diana memorial in Hyde Park. Binda and I were set on doing that today. First, we were hungry so decided to look for a Tesco, yep another 2 pound meal deal. Apparently Hyde Park is the only area in London where you can't walk more then 2 blocks and find yourself a Tesco. We walked by Harrod's on our quest to find a Tesco and all I can say is this...holy shit. Such a huge department store. I may take a weekend and spend it there.
Since we couldn't find a Tesco we settled for Mark and Spencer's, which I suppose is more of an upgrade, but pricier. I must say though at least this chicken and bacon sandwich is on brown bread and it actually tasted like roasted chicken. I'm still not a fan of the mayo though, way too vinegary for me. And honestly, I would love just for once there to be a multi-meat sandwich in this country. No bacon does not count because that is practically on everything to the point that my pallet no longer has a taste for bacon.
Hyde Park was very pretty. There were lots of birds and ducks in the river, which is my new obsession to take pictures of since they have no fear. Also, my have seen an albino pigeon. I took like three pictures because I thought we were going the right way to the Princess Diana memorial. Two problems with that: one, the arrow pointing to where it was located was incorrect because I didn't see any memorial. Problem two was the fact that I was looking for some nice fountain or statue of Lady Di. Nope apparently the memorial is a stream of some sort with water flowing. I don't think water would be flowing this time of year, so other then the lovely walk and conversation with Brinda, our sightseeing for the day was not too successful.
Dinner was my next tragic fail. I tried to make 16p instant mashed potatoes from Sainsbury's. To start off I did not have any milk so already I was cutting that out. Since I was doing fifty million things, it started boiling quicker then I anticipated and quickly started pouring it in. It was taking for ever so I separated it even more. That was when the whole bag went into the pot and some onto the stove top. Directions only called for half the bag. Probably the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. As a last ditch (and ultimately futile) attempt to save them I ended up adding more boiling water and butter to them. Paula Deen would have been proud but by this point the consistency was hard, kind of like dough and nothing like mashed potatoes. The amount of butter had turned them from white to a pale yellow. All I had was two fish fillets and corn, and since I only had a chicken and bacon sandwich I ended up eating the mashed potatoes. Mixing the corn in with butter, salt and pepper saved them somewhat. It reminded me of the consistency of a baked potato by this point.
Then I started to cut my fish when I realized that I forgot my tartar sauce. I went to the cabinet squeezed and nothing came out. Screwed off the top and I noticed the cap was still on. Squeezed it again after taking the cap off and it came out watery, not like thick American tartar sauce. I turned the bottle over to look at the ingredients and there it was. . . VINEGAR. WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE VINEGAR!? Tartar sauce is supposed to literally be just mayo (made the American way) with pickle relish, not a vinegar based condiment, nor for that matter is ketchup, mayo or mustard! I give up, but since I never show weakness I ate my fish, which was very tasty. This was followed by a fifteen minute breakdown after dinner on AIM with my aunt about how vinegar is in everything and ruins the condiments. I will admit the potatoes was me being stupid, that happens on a daily occurrence, but the vinegar in the tartar sauce was the last straw!
Oh and to top this all off appaently I look like the guy from the Vampire Diaries. I looked him up; it's Paul Wesley. I guess it's better then being told you look like Edward Cullen. Maybe I need to get a tan or something. The whole "you look like a vampire" seems to be a recurring theme.
Hope this isn't too bitchy, because aside from vinegar based condiments I do love it here. I am just really sick of vinegar and the sandwich combinations. I'm eating out this week at a "proper" restaurant. I will sacrifice a night of clubbing and alcohol for it. Or maybe I just need to live up to the name of the blog and get shagged???
Since we couldn't find a Tesco we settled for Mark and Spencer's, which I suppose is more of an upgrade, but pricier. I must say though at least this chicken and bacon sandwich is on brown bread and it actually tasted like roasted chicken. I'm still not a fan of the mayo though, way too vinegary for me. And honestly, I would love just for once there to be a multi-meat sandwich in this country. No bacon does not count because that is practically on everything to the point that my pallet no longer has a taste for bacon.
Hyde Park was very pretty. There were lots of birds and ducks in the river, which is my new obsession to take pictures of since they have no fear. Also, my have seen an albino pigeon. I took like three pictures because I thought we were going the right way to the Princess Diana memorial. Two problems with that: one, the arrow pointing to where it was located was incorrect because I didn't see any memorial. Problem two was the fact that I was looking for some nice fountain or statue of Lady Di. Nope apparently the memorial is a stream of some sort with water flowing. I don't think water would be flowing this time of year, so other then the lovely walk and conversation with Brinda, our sightseeing for the day was not too successful.
Dinner was my next tragic fail. I tried to make 16p instant mashed potatoes from Sainsbury's. To start off I did not have any milk so already I was cutting that out. Since I was doing fifty million things, it started boiling quicker then I anticipated and quickly started pouring it in. It was taking for ever so I separated it even more. That was when the whole bag went into the pot and some onto the stove top. Directions only called for half the bag. Probably the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. As a last ditch (and ultimately futile) attempt to save them I ended up adding more boiling water and butter to them. Paula Deen would have been proud but by this point the consistency was hard, kind of like dough and nothing like mashed potatoes. The amount of butter had turned them from white to a pale yellow. All I had was two fish fillets and corn, and since I only had a chicken and bacon sandwich I ended up eating the mashed potatoes. Mixing the corn in with butter, salt and pepper saved them somewhat. It reminded me of the consistency of a baked potato by this point.
Then I started to cut my fish when I realized that I forgot my tartar sauce. I went to the cabinet squeezed and nothing came out. Screwed off the top and I noticed the cap was still on. Squeezed it again after taking the cap off and it came out watery, not like thick American tartar sauce. I turned the bottle over to look at the ingredients and there it was. . . VINEGAR. WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE VINEGAR!? Tartar sauce is supposed to literally be just mayo (made the American way) with pickle relish, not a vinegar based condiment, nor for that matter is ketchup, mayo or mustard! I give up, but since I never show weakness I ate my fish, which was very tasty. This was followed by a fifteen minute breakdown after dinner on AIM with my aunt about how vinegar is in everything and ruins the condiments. I will admit the potatoes was me being stupid, that happens on a daily occurrence, but the vinegar in the tartar sauce was the last straw!
Oh and to top this all off appaently I look like the guy from the Vampire Diaries. I looked him up; it's Paul Wesley. I guess it's better then being told you look like Edward Cullen. Maybe I need to get a tan or something. The whole "you look like a vampire" seems to be a recurring theme.
Hope this isn't too bitchy, because aside from vinegar based condiments I do love it here. I am just really sick of vinegar and the sandwich combinations. I'm eating out this week at a "proper" restaurant. I will sacrifice a night of clubbing and alcohol for it. Or maybe I just need to live up to the name of the blog and get shagged???
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
My One Month Anniversary
I've been here a month already!?
WHAAAATTTT!????
So here's a list of the ten craziest things I've learned from the English (in no particular order):
1) Being "knackered" does not mean that you are drunk. Remember that next time you are in a bar and someone is rubbing their leg up against yours. It means "tired".
2) Squash is not a vegetable. It is a double concentrated drink that you can't drink straight. You have to have to add water to dilute it. Took me three days and a full liter to be told that. If I develop diabetes like Walter Brimley or the good looking Jonas brother, you know why.
3) Pints are 20oz, not 16oz. So remember before you send your dad a drunken email telling him that they are. You'll forget you did it, but be reminded of it the next morning when he replies.
4) Apparently coleslaw and lasagna go together and so do french fries, ketchup and butter on white bread. Lay's is known as Walker's and stuffing is made with breadcrumbs.
5) You need to pay a TV tax to have a TV or the government will come after you.
6) Don't get into arguements with the "knackered" Brits about American politics because they know more then you about your own political system (trust me).
7) Awkward Asians will still sent you fb messages complimenting you on your good looks (at least in my case). Guess the point I'm trying to make is I'm still seen as attractive no matter where I go.
8) Eggplant is called Aubergine...don't ask me why.
9) All the cool kids aka low lifes sniff vodka for fun!!!
10) If someone says to you "Are you alright?" don't get offended and start thing "why the hell does everyone think I am sad or homesick for some friggin reason!?" it is one of the British ways of saying "How are you today?"
Nothing too exciting today. Just Film Studies class watching It Happened One Night, I highly recommend. I am really getting annoyed with Narnia aka the library because none of the computers work and their internet database sucks. The one book I need is the only volume of The Oxford History of the British Empire not available for online viewing. Just my luck...
And also some of you (MATT) have commented why I haven't talked about getting shagged. Now why would I tell everyone about that. Who would find that the least bit interesting? I like to keep my readers in suspense!
Cheers! (The one British saying I just have a hard time saying but I'm trying to warm up to it)
WHAAAATTTT!????
So here's a list of the ten craziest things I've learned from the English (in no particular order):
1) Being "knackered" does not mean that you are drunk. Remember that next time you are in a bar and someone is rubbing their leg up against yours. It means "tired".
2) Squash is not a vegetable. It is a double concentrated drink that you can't drink straight. You have to have to add water to dilute it. Took me three days and a full liter to be told that. If I develop diabetes like Walter Brimley or the good looking Jonas brother, you know why.
3) Pints are 20oz, not 16oz. So remember before you send your dad a drunken email telling him that they are. You'll forget you did it, but be reminded of it the next morning when he replies.
4) Apparently coleslaw and lasagna go together and so do french fries, ketchup and butter on white bread. Lay's is known as Walker's and stuffing is made with breadcrumbs.
5) You need to pay a TV tax to have a TV or the government will come after you.
6) Don't get into arguements with the "knackered" Brits about American politics because they know more then you about your own political system (trust me).
7) Awkward Asians will still sent you fb messages complimenting you on your good looks (at least in my case). Guess the point I'm trying to make is I'm still seen as attractive no matter where I go.
8) Eggplant is called Aubergine...don't ask me why.
9) All the cool kids aka low lifes sniff vodka for fun!!!
10) If someone says to you "Are you alright?" don't get offended and start thing "why the hell does everyone think I am sad or homesick for some friggin reason!?" it is one of the British ways of saying "How are you today?"
Nothing too exciting today. Just Film Studies class watching It Happened One Night, I highly recommend. I am really getting annoyed with Narnia aka the library because none of the computers work and their internet database sucks. The one book I need is the only volume of The Oxford History of the British Empire not available for online viewing. Just my luck...
And also some of you (MATT) have commented why I haven't talked about getting shagged. Now why would I tell everyone about that. Who would find that the least bit interesting? I like to keep my readers in suspense!
Cheers! (The one British saying I just have a hard time saying but I'm trying to warm up to it)
Monday, October 18, 2010
Damn You'se A Sexy Aunt
My Aunt Victoria was angry I didn't mention that I thought of her when I heard Rick Astley on Saturday, so as payback she is the title of the blog. And as a sales pitch visit: http://www.vrchocolates.com/
My life is complete on so many levels today.
1) I finally mailed out my postcards (you lucky few will be getting them soon) and my absent tee ballot request form. It cost me 9.67 for 12 postcards, and two letters but oh well it was worth it only because the lady at the post office kept calling me "love". Although for 67p a stamp, the Brits should really make them peeling ones like we have in the US. Our stamps are 44cents US and we don't even have to lick them (or use that annoying glue)...
2) I finally have internet and was able to print out my first Film Studies paper. And since I had so much time to kill I spent a beautiful morning at Regent's Park in the Queen Mary's Garden and the Avenue Gardens. Pictures are what you see throughout the blog post!
3)I finally figured out what stops Hermione from talking to you in War Studies, which no one has been able to figure out. You just give him one word answers, and then he has nothing to go on. Although basically the professor told him to shut up today. It was pretty funny.
4) I HAVE GRAHAM NORTON TICKETS FOR NEXT WEEK! If Dame Edna is one of his guests I will die on the spot.
But as always there is the one bad moment...I am really getting sick of Tesco's Two Pound Meal Deal. Another tragedy was when I accidently picked up a blue bag of Walker's potato crisps which in the US they are Salt 'n Vinegar (call me a fat ass I know them by packaging). Here they are Cheese and Onion. So needless to say my breath didn't smell too good afterwards. Also, the chicken Caesar sandwich tastes nothing like what I thought it would. It's like chicken and mayoish stuff, perhaps what they call "salad creme", on bread with lettuce. To quote MAD TV substitute teacher, "its simmila' but it 'aint the same!"
I also got so much exercise since the Jubilee line wasn't running. I took the bus down to Swiss Cottage to the post office, then to the tube station which was closed, up to the Finchley Road station to Embankement, then to the library then up to Regent's Park, back to the Strand, back to the library, back to Strand for class, and then back to Hampstead...(I know this means nothing to most of you but it was a lot trust me)
And finally Paris November 19-21!!!
My life is complete on so many levels today.
1) I finally mailed out my postcards (you lucky few will be getting them soon) and my absent tee ballot request form. It cost me 9.67 for 12 postcards, and two letters but oh well it was worth it only because the lady at the post office kept calling me "love". Although for 67p a stamp, the Brits should really make them peeling ones like we have in the US. Our stamps are 44cents US and we don't even have to lick them (or use that annoying glue)...
2) I finally have internet and was able to print out my first Film Studies paper. And since I had so much time to kill I spent a beautiful morning at Regent's Park in the Queen Mary's Garden and the Avenue Gardens. Pictures are what you see throughout the blog post!
3)I finally figured out what stops Hermione from talking to you in War Studies, which no one has been able to figure out. You just give him one word answers, and then he has nothing to go on. Although basically the professor told him to shut up today. It was pretty funny.
4) I HAVE GRAHAM NORTON TICKETS FOR NEXT WEEK! If Dame Edna is one of his guests I will die on the spot.
But as always there is the one bad moment...I am really getting sick of Tesco's Two Pound Meal Deal. Another tragedy was when I accidently picked up a blue bag of Walker's potato crisps which in the US they are Salt 'n Vinegar (call me a fat ass I know them by packaging). Here they are Cheese and Onion. So needless to say my breath didn't smell too good afterwards. Also, the chicken Caesar sandwich tastes nothing like what I thought it would. It's like chicken and mayoish stuff, perhaps what they call "salad creme", on bread with lettuce. To quote MAD TV substitute teacher, "its simmila' but it 'aint the same!"
I also got so much exercise since the Jubilee line wasn't running. I took the bus down to Swiss Cottage to the post office, then to the tube station which was closed, up to the Finchley Road station to Embankement, then to the library then up to Regent's Park, back to the Strand, back to the library, back to Strand for class, and then back to Hampstead...(I know this means nothing to most of you but it was a lot trust me)
And finally Paris November 19-21!!!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
I Can't Believe I Missed Rick Astley
I would like to start with an apology. Apparently I wasn't specific enough when I mentioned how my family skyped with me were asking me some random weird questions. My dad was not included in that, so dad I am sorry. You don't ask random questions, you only talk to me on AIM whenever you feel like gracing me with your presence.
I feel like a pregnant chick with massive cravings because all I talk about is food, but who doesn't love food. I was sick of salt and vinegar chips so I decided to try "prawn (shrimp) cocktail" potato chips. It was either that or roasted chicken or something bacon flavored, so I thought what the hell I'll try the shrimp ones out. They were pretty good. I got a hint of what I guess is supposed to be shrimp? It kinda tasted no different then when Lay's used to make ketchup flavored potato chips in the US. It complimented my cheese and bacon sandwich greatly, although I must say (and I never thought I'd utter these words) I am getting sick of bacon. I know its blasphemy...
My next crazy food experience was Subway. Subway apparently has nachos in the UK. I was so amazed for some reason that a Subway would sell nachos I almost bought them. The only thing that was stopping me was the fact that they were out of tortilla chips. So then it was a tossup between a bowl of meatballs or a 6in. I settled for a 6in. In the US, all the guys working at Subway assume that you just want cheese and toasted. Well since this is the UK they insist you want cheese, and toasted AND BACON. I got a deer in the headlights look because I didn't want bacon.
The one great thing about Subway here is that the meat is actually real meat and not that processed crap you get in the US. And since its actually real meat you don't reek of that Subway smell that seems to linger all day after eating Subway. I will definitely be making a return trip, especially for those nachos. Only downer is the no $5 foot longs or posters of Jared. After Subway I found Chipotle. My next fast food stop is gonna be there hands down.
After that we went clubbing at Popstarz. You know Europeans party hard judging by the fact that the club opens at 10 and by 11 there is the first guy, pathetically sober, dancing with his shirt off looking like he rubbed his chest in body oil. I don't even know how he snuck the body oil in. Then again I just realized it could have been sweat. Then I saw some girl with massive back fit coming out of her top grinding up against a pole. Then she turned around and I was like "Shit...that's a guy." The ground floor played current pop music and once again Destiny's Child's "Lose My Breath" was played again. Upstairs played 90's/Indie music. We went downstairs which played all 80s music. And son of a bitch, we were at the bar when the greatest song of all time came on, "Never Gonna Give You Up", by Rick Astley came on... All in all I like Popstarz, free admission before 10, resonably priced drinks, good music, can't go wrong...
I'm also being forced to eat a chip butty (I think that's how it's spelled) before I leave. Maybe, just maybe...
I feel like a pregnant chick with massive cravings because all I talk about is food, but who doesn't love food. I was sick of salt and vinegar chips so I decided to try "prawn (shrimp) cocktail" potato chips. It was either that or roasted chicken or something bacon flavored, so I thought what the hell I'll try the shrimp ones out. They were pretty good. I got a hint of what I guess is supposed to be shrimp? It kinda tasted no different then when Lay's used to make ketchup flavored potato chips in the US. It complimented my cheese and bacon sandwich greatly, although I must say (and I never thought I'd utter these words) I am getting sick of bacon. I know its blasphemy...
My next crazy food experience was Subway. Subway apparently has nachos in the UK. I was so amazed for some reason that a Subway would sell nachos I almost bought them. The only thing that was stopping me was the fact that they were out of tortilla chips. So then it was a tossup between a bowl of meatballs or a 6in. I settled for a 6in. In the US, all the guys working at Subway assume that you just want cheese and toasted. Well since this is the UK they insist you want cheese, and toasted AND BACON. I got a deer in the headlights look because I didn't want bacon.
The one great thing about Subway here is that the meat is actually real meat and not that processed crap you get in the US. And since its actually real meat you don't reek of that Subway smell that seems to linger all day after eating Subway. I will definitely be making a return trip, especially for those nachos. Only downer is the no $5 foot longs or posters of Jared. After Subway I found Chipotle. My next fast food stop is gonna be there hands down.
After that we went clubbing at Popstarz. You know Europeans party hard judging by the fact that the club opens at 10 and by 11 there is the first guy, pathetically sober, dancing with his shirt off looking like he rubbed his chest in body oil. I don't even know how he snuck the body oil in. Then again I just realized it could have been sweat. Then I saw some girl with massive back fit coming out of her top grinding up against a pole. Then she turned around and I was like "Shit...that's a guy." The ground floor played current pop music and once again Destiny's Child's "Lose My Breath" was played again. Upstairs played 90's/Indie music. We went downstairs which played all 80s music. And son of a bitch, we were at the bar when the greatest song of all time came on, "Never Gonna Give You Up", by Rick Astley came on... All in all I like Popstarz, free admission before 10, resonably priced drinks, good music, can't go wrong...
I'm also being forced to eat a chip butty (I think that's how it's spelled) before I leave. Maybe, just maybe...
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