After 5 days I believe there has been enough time for me to recount the horrors that was being stranded in London thanks to Richard Branson and BAA's inability to remove snow, so here it goes...
Morning Dec 21: I wake up at 9:15AM to hear the cleaner speaking jive as usual, get on skype to call Virgin Atlantic again.
9:45 AM: Waiting for 20 minutes now, realize I am hungry and open a container of fig rolls, as soon as I start chewing I am naturally put on the phone with an associate.
10:00AM: Get put on a flight on December 26th from Heathrow to JFK, won't be home for Christmas, but at least know when I am going home so I can plan accordingly. According to the man I spoke with that was the earliest flight I could get to anywhere in the East Coast.
10:15AM: Call Dad, tell him my situation. He makes me realize that the fuckers at Virgin just walked all over me. How can the ONLY flight to the US be no sooner than December 26. I realize he has a point and decide to call back after a shower.
11:15AM: Take a shower and then once again call Virgin. This time I get through in 20 minutes and am greeted by the biggest jerk ever. I tell him that I realize that clearly Virgin just played me into thinking that I would be ok getting on a flight no sooner than December 26th. He tells me that its all the governments fault (like I haven't heard that excuse before) and actually starts yelling at me. I demand that look into other flights on Delta, America, US Airways, and British Airways.
11:47-12:00PM: To protect the names of the innocent "Joe" claims that he has me on hold saying he is looking into other flights. He probably was making note on my file that I am the biggest pain in the ass ever. Comes back on the line to say nothing is available, although he could put me on a flight on December 27th to Orlando. I go CRAZY, telling him to not DARE take me off my flight on December 26th, and then go on this staged emotional rant where I said, and I quote, "You know what this is nothing personal but lets be honest, you don't even know me nor do you care what will happen to me after I hang up this phone. You will forget all about me, yet I will still be here sitting all alone in this room. ALL ALONE. Listen, I have no one, absolutely NO ONE. All my friends are home and my family is thousands of miles away. I am living out of my suitcases, but what do you care? You are just going to go home to your family tonight and have a nice Christmas."
12:05PM: Clearly flattery doesn't work. He tells me he can't do anything and to have a nice day. Decide to drown my sorrows in yet another Tesco 2 pound Meal Deal of a chicken and bacon wrap, prawn cocktail chips, and orange juice. At the register the same moron Apu (no I am not stereotyping that was his name) who told me 12 hours earlier to use the self checkout, told me to do it again. Once again I said "I can't my debit card is a swipe card". And once again he said it will work and once AGAIN I was right and he was wrong but of course I looked like the idiot who could not use a debit card...
12:30PM: Screw this, I'm not waiting another hour to call Virgin back. I try once again and now reach a third man talks to me and this time he claims there is a flight to Orlando on Dec 22nd (tomorrow) from Gatwick at 1pm and then I can take a American Airlines flight from Orlando to JFK. I take it, finally my nightmare is over...so I thought...
After this I start partying it up because in all honesty, my 3 month period of being "21" is about to end in about 24 hours, go out to dinner and drinks with my only remaining friend in London and some of his friends.
11:30PM: This starts the drunken quest to get from London Bridge back to Hampstead then back to Clapham Common before the last tube is running. Thankfully we make it and are back by 1am. While checking out I ask reception for the mail one last time, apparently they had been forgetting to give me a card from my grandmother for a month now...
Day 3
I'll save you the minor details of riding the Gatwick Express but anyways I get to the ticket counter and see my flight is delayed until 2:15 from 1pm...this is where all the fun starts.
me to throw food in my carry on into the suitcase since it weighs less. I am trying to tell her though that there is no physical space left in the suitcase. She then wants to see the contents in my suitcase, at which she says "So what do you like Jaffa Cakes or something? Take them out!" BITCH made me put my jaffa cakes in my suitcase. Fast forward 24 hours later and yes they were squished, I am still morning the loss of them. But now back to Jane... she is now making me take clothing and such out of the bag that is overweight. I take out my film studies books and they were the culprits. So now I am under the maximum but am still going to be charged an overweight fee. She "lets me go" since I am .5kg over on my carry on. I leave but before I go I tell her to learn how to smile. (It was a polite way of telling her F**K YOU! To piss her off I then took off my scarf and sweater in front of her and stuffed it into the bag...
She is getting mentioned in my letter to Richard Branson...
Following so far? At this point it may be best to take a break, grab a cup of coffee or something because this story is only about halfway over...
12:45 PM: My gate number is supposed to appear
1:00PM: Gate number appears, takes about 20 minutes to walk to that gate. Upon arrival at the gate we are all sitting there waiting and the lovely people at Virgin tell us that there are not enough flight attendants to man the plane. After they find ones to work the flight AND clear security we will be able to board. While this is all going on I realize there is no Wi Fi in the terminal so I have to call my family on my phone to tell them I am delayed, by this point I am thinking I may miss my connecting flight. Then the stewardess comes on and says we won't leave until 4pm London time which means we will get in at 8:30PM Orlando time, I am missing my 7:35 connecting flight...
!:00-4:00 PM: While sitting around I realize that I am just about the only American on my flight and that practically everyone on this flight is indeed a British family with what seems 10 kids each. At one point there was a kid sniffing his shoe. Then making a face to the effect that "oh god that smells"..only to sniff it again. Dumb kid...Then closer to 4pm the terminal started turning into a playground for all the kids. PSA to all parents out there: An airport terminal is NOT your kid's play pen!
4:00PM- 1:30AM London time: Flight finally leaves! On the flight I had the honor of sitting next to this mother and her son. They were separated from their other family members and through out the whole flight she was worried about her poor son Charlie who was "sick" (sick as in the British sense of the word meaning puked). The son for EVERYTHING that something did to him said : "CHEERRRRSSSSS". It was quite comical after awhile. If he asked to get up he said "CHEERRRRSSSSSS". Sat down, "CHEERRRSSSSS". Flight attendant gave him food "CHEERRRSSSSS". Getting the picture? Then at the beginning of the flight I forgot to include the part where the mother said to me "so you going to talk or be silent the whole trip?" She was a lovely woman so we got along fine. Then mid-flight the baby puked across from me. Thank god for the TV, it allowed me to watch Despicable Me and the end of "Going the Distance", which I must say was the worst ending ever!
1:30AM London/ 8:30AM Orlando: I put my hands up and I was nodding my head like yeaaaa because I was back in the USA! Customs was a breeze (almost too much of a breeze, but than again I was the only American on the flight!) Got my bags and then had to go to the ticket counter. There was no more flights for the night so they put me on an American Airlines flight at 8:25 AM the next morning and got me a room in the Hyatt for the night, plus a $15 meal voucher. My grandparents were on standby to come get me from Tampa but in the end they didn't have to. I didn't mind being stuck in the hotel though, despite the endless walk with all 4 of my bags because I discovered I was in a king sized suite! Hell I could have spend Christmas there and I would be fine!
Day 4
8:25 AM-10:55AM: Flight to JFK, this part is uneventful but at one point some guy was like "Hey Brother, can I sit near the window?" It was fine since no one was sitting there, but don't call me brother...ever...
10:55AM: FINALLY AT JFK, my travelling nightmare was finally over!
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