You Need Lots of Lubrication...

Yes that actually came out of a middle aged woman's voice yesterday at the taping of the Graham Norton Show...more on that in a bit.

Let me say though that taping was one of the funniest things I have seen in awhile, despite the fact Joan Rivers is going to be on next week and I did not really know who most of his guests were. It all started standing in line with the lovely lesbians behind us freaking out because all the people with the yello wristbands got in first. There was no need to worry though lezzie, we had seats. Graham comes out and one of the first things he says before filming the intro is, "There is always some FUCKER who is sitting behind me looking tired and bored." Just the way he said it made me laugh so hard I have no clue why. The guests were Lord Alan Sugar, host of the British Apprentice (so naturally there was a joke about Donald Trump in there), comedian Lee Mack, some chick from Strictly Come Dancing aka Dancing With the Stars Pamela Stephenson, and James Blunt. Yes the guy who sang that overplayed song "Beautiful" is still around and actually his song is quite catchy.

British TV is way more raunchier then Americans because you know were freak out because Janet Jackson's tit flashed on the screen for two seconds, let alone MTV talking about masterbation.  Since Pamela Stephenson (who I just looked up was on SNL from 1984-1985 and Superman III) is now a psycologist Graham had some audience members respond to letters sent to Pamela by some of her clients. The most disgusting was the one about a 91yr old still having an active sex life despite the fact she doesn't orgasm and her husband only gets tiny erections. The funniest was when someone wrong "My husband spends about 20 hours a day pleasuring himself and never had time for me. I haven't orgasmed in years. Graham asked an audience member for advice and this middle aged (probably late 50s) said, "Get lots of lubrication and go join him." Probably the funniest, yet most awkward thing I have heard in a long time. That on top of Pamela Stephenson dancing with Graham and having him ride up against her "nunu". I'll let you decide what that means.

Lord  Alan Sugar (I love saying that name) was kind of dry and talked a lot. Especially when he started talking about politics. Apparently James Blunt was in the military? He also uses marmite before each performance to "lub up" his vocal cords. All in all it was an excellent show. Be sure to watch on BBC1 or BBC America tonight, maybe you will see me, upper part of the audience, three rows back middle section, three seats in!

Also, since my computer is going to take a week to fix this wonderful post is brought to you buy the Maughan Library basement floor aka the dungeon (no literally there are jail cells here)...