You Need Lots of Lubrication...

Yes that actually came out of a middle aged woman's voice yesterday at the taping of the Graham Norton Show...more on that in a bit.

Let me say though that taping was one of the funniest things I have seen in awhile, despite the fact Joan Rivers is going to be on next week and I did not really know who most of his guests were. It all started standing in line with the lovely lesbians behind us freaking out because all the people with the yello wristbands got in first. There was no need to worry though lezzie, we had seats. Graham comes out and one of the first things he says before filming the intro is, "There is always some FUCKER who is sitting behind me looking tired and bored." Just the way he said it made me laugh so hard I have no clue why. The guests were Lord Alan Sugar, host of the British Apprentice (so naturally there was a joke about Donald Trump in there), comedian Lee Mack, some chick from Strictly Come Dancing aka Dancing With the Stars Pamela Stephenson, and James Blunt. Yes the guy who sang that overplayed song "Beautiful" is still around and actually his song is quite catchy.

British TV is way more raunchier then Americans because you know were freak out because Janet Jackson's tit flashed on the screen for two seconds, let alone MTV talking about masterbation.  Since Pamela Stephenson (who I just looked up was on SNL from 1984-1985 and Superman III) is now a psycologist Graham had some audience members respond to letters sent to Pamela by some of her clients. The most disgusting was the one about a 91yr old still having an active sex life despite the fact she doesn't orgasm and her husband only gets tiny erections. The funniest was when someone wrong "My husband spends about 20 hours a day pleasuring himself and never had time for me. I haven't orgasmed in years. Graham asked an audience member for advice and this middle aged (probably late 50s) said, "Get lots of lubrication and go join him." Probably the funniest, yet most awkward thing I have heard in a long time. That on top of Pamela Stephenson dancing with Graham and having him ride up against her "nunu". I'll let you decide what that means.

Lord  Alan Sugar (I love saying that name) was kind of dry and talked a lot. Especially when he started talking about politics. Apparently James Blunt was in the military? He also uses marmite before each performance to "lub up" his vocal cords. All in all it was an excellent show. Be sure to watch on BBC1 or BBC America tonight, maybe you will see me, upper part of the audience, three rows back middle section, three seats in!

Also, since my computer is going to take a week to fix this wonderful post is brought to you buy the Maughan Library basement floor aka the dungeon (no literally there are jail cells here)...

Well This Just Sucks

I have finally recovered from the trauma that was yesterday. It all started when I was doing the laundry in the rain (as usual). When I came back from putting more money to increase the time on the drier my screen died. This is all i needed.

I simply couldn't wait to see what was wrong with my laptop so I just ran to the PAWS room on campus (which I'm gonna assume stand for Print and Work Station?) to contact my family. Naturally it was friggin 6am in the US so that was no help. Thankfully I found a computer repair store on the Strand because buying a new laptop was simply out of the question. Basically laptops here cost the same only in pounds...so yeah...don't have that much money. Initially it was going to cost £220 to fix my laptop. Then to add to the chaos I got an email from GW saying they paid for my housing....So basically I paid TWICE for my housing. In a nutshell I lost like over $2,000 in a span of one hour yesterday. To add insult to injury while walking home I got wet my shoe soaked when I stepped in a puddle accidently. So I spent my night in the PAWS room where all the cool kids hang out. I was sitting here minding my own business and out of no where some friggin cat came up next to me. I nearly shit my pants because initially I thought,"SHIT this thing probably is wild and has rabies or something." Apparently I didn't get the memo that we have a "campus cat"...what a waste of money!? At least get a dog.

To add to my frustration I decided to skip go to the screening for my Film Studies. Today they placed a clip of the movie that I missed, Pierrot Le Fou. Thank god I did not stay. All I thought based on this two minute clip was WTF.French people doing impressions of Vietnamese and Americans just blabbling in Vietnamese and saying "New York", "Hollywood"...It made a Quentin Tarantino film look normal.

But today I got some good news. First, I will get my money refunded ASAP, probably by tomorrow which is good. GW is sorting out my financial status thank god. The laptop is not going to cost nearly as much as estimated, but it is going to take a week...fair trade off I guess. So for next week me and the PAWS room are gonna be best buddies. Also, I decided that for Halloween I am going as Wolverine.

Thank god Ana Quijano posted NPH videos on my wall so I can watch them when I feel down and lonely sitting in this room that is so hot I'm sweating my balls off with some stupid cat.

Graham Norton tomorrow!

My Red Chair Story

As some of you know I have tickets for the Graham Norton Show on Thursday. I am really excited except for the fact that at next week's taping JOAN RIVERS is going to be his guest. All I get to see is some Lee Mack and James Blunt. Anyways they have a segment called "The Red Chair", where viewers are asked to submit crazy or unusual stories and the best ones get to tell them on air. Nothing is too risque. Only catch it if Graham and the guests don't like you, they get to pull a lever which kicks you out of the chair. It's free to try so I figured what the hell here is mine. WARNING the squeamish should not read on:

So my Red Chair story involves me, my parents, and my dog. I was sitting in the living room one evening watching some show and heard my mother screaming "RYAN come quick!! There's something wrong with the dog." My mom freaks out if the dog's stomach growls so naturally I ignored her. She calls out to me again saying that her and her boyfriend think the dog has a tumor. Then my brother comes in laughing and says "Go look." My mother is panicking and dialing my father, her ex-husband, to  see if she can do anything. She starts screaming "John it looks like a Slim Jim, I pushing the 'tumor' in with a paper towel but it doesn't go away, it won't go down." By this point I come into the room. I look at him and notice something is bigger then usual. I look at her and say "Mom, Chewy has a boner", and all you hear is my dad dying laughing on the phone laughing at his ex wife saying, "We'll jeez maybe that's why, he's probably enjoying it." Apparently the dog is turned on by my brother's leg and started humping it that's why he was laughing so hard. Long story short, my mom unbeknownst to her was jacking off the dog. Thank God he was fixed...

Strawberry Gate

Greek Vase from Athens, Notice woman picking her nose

First of all, for those of you who can't pronounce the fruit is called "straw-berry" not "straw-brerry". Last night I decided to have a quiet night in with a few cans of Pimms and "watch" the Phillies on ESPN gamecast since you can't watch baseball in the UK. Given the outcome of the game I am not going to say anymore on the issue. What I will talk about though is how SOME IDIOT here in Hampstead decided to throw strawberries  all down the hallway and all over people's doors. This on top of music blasting at 2:30am, but sadly that is expected here in Rosalind Franklin Hall. All I have to say to whoever did that were lookin' for you and we gonna find you! Also, why!? I mean really strawberries are such a good fruit and no longer in season, why is there to whip them at peoples doors and smear them into the walls to the point that now the walls have a reddish tint to them? Grow up...

Statues from Parthenon

I needed to get out of this immature place and do some work. Snape gave me the option of either reading or going to the British Museum so naturally I took the easy way out and went on a field trip to the British Museum! There were so many pots, but that was overshadowed by the rest of the galleries. My personal favorites were the Rosetta Stone, which is a lot smaller in person, the mummies, and the one statue of some Roman official that has a slight resemblance to Osama Bin Laden (pictured in the blog). But in all seriousness this is probably my favorite museum that I have ever been to. There are so many artifacts dating back to 2000BC from Ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome, Mesopotamia and Assyria to name a few. Another one of my favorites was the clock room that had clocks throughout the years. That clock that looked like a ship was seriously made out of gold. After two hours and almost two hundred pictures later I realized I had not seen all of the exhibits, but me being the history nerd that I am I know I'll be back again.

Rosetta Stone

While the British faction of the Boykos stuggles to survive airial bombings from strawberry throwing bastards, Southern Command is reporting that the Boykos across the pond have avoided the crisis that was "The Rice Affair". Thankfully it is Sunday so that means there is tons of coupons. Reports are that Uncle Ben's is buy one get one free. The Boykos' stomachs will be quiet for quite some time now.

Next Sunday is Halloween already I need an idea for a costume! Since I look like a vampire I may end up going as that but I want to do something different/ interesting. Plus Graham Norton this week, which apparently I forgot to thank my Aunt Victoria for emailing me the mailing list for tickets. All my family does is bitch so they get mentioned in this blog (I still love all of you dearly).

This is actually a clock

Brief food encounter tonight. I see numerous vendors selling what they claim to be "hotdogs". A hotdog is not a sasuage I'm sorry. It is the most disgusting grinded up meat, usually a mixture of pork and beef put in casing. The "hotdogs" they sell on the street is doing injustice to the meat they are selling because true hotdogs are worse then that. Plus you need to have an Iranian American selling you one like Minouch or it isn't the same... Another English roast dinner this Sunday, soooo good.

Mummies!

I'll now leave you with the statue that the woman next to me claimed looked like Osama Bin Laden:

Osama?

The Boykos Are in Code Red

Yes, huge catastrophe, but more on that in a bit.

Last night we did the whole pub hopping scene in Hampstead. Our first stop was the Holly Bush, which is apparently Jamie Oliver aka the Naked Chef's favorite pub in London. It had that HIMYM feeling to it; all that was missing was my boy NPH and the night would have just been magical. Since it was pretty posh it was actually cheaper for a mixed drink then a pint of beer or cider. Sitting there gossiping about life and such made me feel like we really were Ted, Robin, Marshall, Lilly, and Barney sitting at MacClaren's. At one point I felt like walking up to some random stranger and saying, "Haaaaaaaaaaavvvveee ya met Ted?", and walk away.

Today me and a few of the girls went to Covent Gardens. Thankfully I was stopped from buying three pairs of shoes just from window shopping. I must say though, I don't really see the appeal of vintage clothes shopping. All of the men's stuff smelled of mothballs and was more vibrant then a sweater Bill Cosby would wear. I also am not a fan of wearing previously worn shoes. I just can't pull off the whole vintage look. After three stores of just that I had enough...

...but I was rewarded with a cupcake from Ella's Bakehouse, which I feel is worthy of some promotion here! I had the Banoffee which to quote my mother's idol and the most annoying cook in America, Rachel Ray,  was "delish". I will definitley be coming back to Covent Garden for some shoe shopping and some more cupcakes!

After my cupcake I tried sausage rolls for the first time for dinner. I must say linked sausage and puff pastry is one of the most ingenious combinations ever made. High up on my list of great English foods with Jaffa Cakes.

And thanks to Fox and the New York Yankees for ruining my evening. Since they lost last night the Phillies game tonight was moved from 8:00pm UK time to 1:00AM...thanks....

Now to the crisis that is rice being $1.25 at Walmart. I am in the middle of telling my Aunt Victoria about my day and all my grandmother and uncle (based on the conversation I'll assume Uncle Paul) care about that rice is friggin $1.25 at Walmart. I'm trying to tell them about my day, about how lovely it was and all anyone cares about it that rice is $`1.25 at Walmart. To add to the chaos its $1.97 in Publix. It is safe to say the Boykos are operating under code red tonight because of the cost of friggin rice. And because they weren't listening to me I will tell them here what I was trying to tell them. They were selling ugly truffles in one store for 60p, unlike the beautiful ones my Aunt makes at Viktoria Richards, but no all we care about is the price of rice in China.

Too. Much. Vinegar.

I always wanted to see the Princess Diana memorial in Hyde Park. Binda and I were set on doing that today. First, we were hungry so decided to look for a Tesco, yep another 2 pound meal deal. Apparently Hyde Park is the only area in London where you can't walk more then 2 blocks and find yourself a Tesco. We walked by Harrod's on our quest to find a Tesco and all I can say is this...holy shit. Such a huge department store. I may take a weekend and spend it there.

Since we couldn't find a Tesco we settled for Mark and Spencer's, which I suppose is more of an upgrade, but pricier. I must say though at least this chicken and bacon sandwich is on brown bread and it actually tasted like roasted chicken. I'm still not a fan of the mayo though, way too vinegary for me. And honestly, I would love just for once there to be a multi-meat sandwich in this country. No bacon does not count because that is practically on everything to the point that my pallet no longer has a taste for bacon.

Hyde Park was very pretty. There were lots of birds and ducks in the river, which is my new obsession to take pictures of since they have no fear. Also, my have seen an albino pigeon. I took like three pictures because I thought we were going the right way to the Princess Diana memorial. Two problems with that: one, the arrow pointing to where it was located was incorrect because I didn't see any memorial. Problem two was the fact that I was looking for some nice fountain or statue of Lady Di. Nope apparently the memorial is a stream of some sort with water flowing. I don't think water would be flowing this time of year, so other then the lovely walk and conversation with Brinda, our sightseeing for the day was not too successful.

Dinner was my next tragic fail. I tried to make 16p instant mashed potatoes from Sainsbury's. To start off I did not have any milk so already I was cutting that out. Since I was doing fifty million things, it started boiling quicker then I anticipated and quickly started pouring it in. It was taking for ever so I separated it even more. That was when the whole bag went into the pot and some onto the stove top. Directions only called for half the bag. Probably the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. As a last ditch (and ultimately futile) attempt to save them I ended up adding more boiling water and butter to them. Paula Deen would have been proud but by this point the consistency was hard, kind of like dough and nothing like mashed potatoes. The amount of butter had turned them from white to a pale yellow. All I had was two fish fillets and corn, and since I only had a chicken and bacon sandwich I ended up eating the mashed potatoes. Mixing the corn in with butter, salt and pepper saved them somewhat. It reminded me of the consistency of a baked potato by this point.

Then I started to cut my fish when I realized that I forgot my tartar sauce. I went to the cabinet squeezed and nothing came out. Screwed off the top and I noticed the cap was still on. Squeezed it again after taking the cap off and it came out watery, not like thick American tartar sauce. I turned the bottle over to look at the ingredients and there it was. . . VINEGAR. WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE VINEGAR!? Tartar sauce is supposed to literally be just mayo (made the American way) with pickle relish, not a vinegar based condiment, nor for that matter is ketchup, mayo or mustard! I give up, but since I never show weakness I ate my fish, which was very tasty. This was followed by a fifteen minute breakdown after dinner on AIM with my aunt about how vinegar is in everything and ruins the condiments. I will admit the potatoes was me being stupid, that happens on a daily occurrence, but the vinegar in the tartar sauce was the last straw!

Oh and to top this all off appaently I look like the guy from the Vampire Diaries. I looked him up; it's Paul Wesley. I guess it's better then being told you look like Edward Cullen. Maybe I need to get a tan or something. The whole "you look like a vampire" seems to be a recurring theme.

Hope this isn't too bitchy, because aside from vinegar based condiments I do love it here. I am just really sick of vinegar and the sandwich combinations. I'm eating out this week at a "proper" restaurant. I will sacrifice a night of clubbing and alcohol for it. Or maybe I just need to live up to the name of the blog and get shagged???

My One Month Anniversary

I've been here a month already!?

WHAAAATTTT!????

So here's a list of the ten craziest things I've learned from the English (in no particular order):

1) Being "knackered" does not mean that you are drunk. Remember that next time you are in a bar and someone is rubbing their leg up against yours. It means "tired".

2) Squash is not a vegetable. It is a double concentrated drink that you can't drink straight. You have to have to add water to dilute it. Took me three days and a full liter to be told that. If I develop diabetes like Walter Brimley or the good looking Jonas brother, you know why.

3) Pints are 20oz, not 16oz. So remember before you send your dad a drunken email telling him that they are. You'll forget you did it, but be reminded of it the next morning when he replies.

4) Apparently coleslaw and lasagna go together and so do french fries, ketchup and butter on white bread. Lay's is known as Walker's and stuffing is made with breadcrumbs.

5) You need to pay a TV tax to have a TV or the government will come after you.

6) Don't get into arguements with the  "knackered" Brits about American politics because they know more then you about your own political system (trust me).

7) Awkward Asians will still sent you fb messages complimenting you on your good looks (at least in my case). Guess the point I'm trying to make is I'm still seen as attractive no matter where I go.

8) Eggplant is called Aubergine...don't ask me why.

9) All the cool kids aka low lifes sniff vodka for fun!!!

10) If someone says to you "Are you alright?" don't get offended and start thing "why the hell does everyone think I am sad or homesick for some friggin reason!?" it is one of the British ways of saying "How are you today?"

Nothing too exciting today. Just Film Studies class watching It Happened One Night, I highly recommend. I am really getting annoyed with Narnia aka the library because none of the computers work and their internet database sucks. The one book I need is the only volume of The Oxford History of the British Empire not available for online viewing. Just my luck...

And also some of you (MATT) have commented why I haven't talked about getting shagged. Now why would I tell everyone about that. Who would find that the least bit interesting? I like to keep my readers in suspense!

Cheers! (The one British saying I just have a hard time saying but I'm trying to warm up to it)

Damn You'se A Sexy Aunt

My Aunt Victoria was angry I didn't mention that  I thought of her when I heard Rick Astley on Saturday, so as payback she is the title of the blog. And as a sales pitch visit: http://www.vrchocolates.com/

My life is complete on so many levels today.

1) I finally mailed out my postcards (you lucky few will be getting them soon) and my absent tee ballot request form. It cost me 9.67 for 12 postcards, and two letters but oh well it was worth it only because the lady at the post office kept calling me "love". Although for 67p a stamp, the Brits should really make them peeling ones like we have in the US. Our stamps are 44cents US and we don't even have to lick them (or use that annoying glue)...

2) I finally have internet and was able to print out my first Film Studies paper. And since I had so much time to kill I spent a beautiful morning at Regent's Park in the Queen Mary's Garden and the Avenue Gardens. Pictures are what you see throughout the blog post!

3)I finally figured out what stops Hermione from talking to you in War Studies, which no one has been able to figure out. You just give him one word answers, and then he has nothing to go on. Although basically the professor told him to shut up today. It was pretty funny.

4) I HAVE GRAHAM NORTON TICKETS FOR NEXT WEEK! If Dame Edna is one of his guests I will die on the spot.

But as always there is the one bad moment...I am really getting sick of Tesco's Two Pound Meal Deal. Another tragedy was when I accidently picked up a blue bag of Walker's potato crisps which in the US they are Salt 'n Vinegar (call me a fat ass I know them by packaging). Here they are Cheese and Onion. So needless to say my breath didn't smell too good afterwards. Also, the chicken Caesar sandwich tastes nothing like what I thought it would. It's like chicken and mayoish stuff, perhaps what they call "salad creme", on bread with lettuce. To quote MAD TV substitute teacher, "its simmila' but it 'aint the same!"

I also got so much exercise since the Jubilee line wasn't running. I took the bus down to Swiss Cottage to the post office, then to the tube station which was closed, up to the Finchley Road station to Embankement, then to the library then up to Regent's Park, back to the Strand, back to the library, back to Strand for class, and then back to Hampstead...(I know this means nothing to most of you but it was a lot trust me)

And finally Paris November 19-21!!!

I Can't Believe I Missed Rick Astley

I would like to start with an apology. Apparently I wasn't specific enough when I mentioned how my family skyped with me were asking me some random weird questions. My dad was not included in that, so dad I am sorry. You don't ask random questions, you only talk to me on AIM whenever you feel like gracing me with your presence.

I feel like a pregnant chick with massive cravings because all I talk about is food, but who doesn't love food. I was sick of salt and vinegar chips so I decided to try "prawn (shrimp) cocktail" potato chips. It was either that or roasted chicken or something bacon flavored, so I thought what the hell I'll try the shrimp ones out. They were pretty good. I got a hint of what I guess is supposed to be shrimp? It kinda tasted no different then when Lay's used to make ketchup flavored potato chips in the US. It complimented my cheese and bacon sandwich greatly, although I must say (and I never thought I'd utter these words) I am getting sick of bacon. I know its blasphemy...

My next crazy food experience was Subway. Subway apparently has nachos in the UK. I was so amazed for some reason that a Subway would sell nachos I almost bought them. The only thing that was stopping me was the fact that they were out of tortilla chips. So then it was a tossup between a bowl of meatballs or a 6in. I settled for a 6in. In the US, all the guys working at Subway assume that you just want cheese and toasted. Well since this is the UK they insist you want cheese, and toasted AND BACON. I got a deer in the headlights look because I didn't want bacon.

The one great thing about Subway here is that the meat is actually real meat and not that processed crap you get in the US. And since its actually real meat you don't reek of that Subway smell that seems to linger all day after eating Subway. I will definitely be making a return trip, especially for those nachos. Only downer is the no $5 foot longs or posters of Jared.  After Subway I found Chipotle. My next fast food stop is gonna be there hands down.

After that we went clubbing at Popstarz. You know Europeans party hard judging by the fact that the club opens at 10 and by 11 there is the first guy, pathetically sober, dancing with his shirt off looking like he rubbed his chest in body oil. I don't even know how he snuck the body oil in. Then again I just realized it could have been sweat. Then I saw some girl with massive back fit coming out of her top grinding up against a pole. Then she turned around and I was like "Shit...that's a guy." The ground floor played current pop music and once again Destiny's Child's "Lose My Breath" was played again. Upstairs played 90's/Indie music. We went downstairs which played all 80s music. And son of a bitch, we were at the bar when the greatest song of all time came on, "Never Gonna Give You Up", by Rick Astley came on... All in all I like Popstarz, free admission before 10, resonably priced drinks, good music, can't go wrong...

I'm also being forced to eat a chip butty (I think that's how it's spelled) before I leave. Maybe, just maybe...

I Love Jaffa Cakes!

I really do love Jaffa cakes (more on that in a bit), but I really don't get the whole lasagna and cole slaw thing. Cole slaw is something that you only eat because when you're older you learn to tolerate cabbage and only during the summer months with a hot dog or a hamburger. Honestly never thought of having it with some italian food, but then again I'll have to try it before being the judge. If I am brave enough to try it...

Back to Jaffa cakes, why do these things not exist in the US! I mean who ever came up with the idea of putting a sponge cake, a bit of orange jam and a chocolate topping is like Jesus in my eyes. I think my theory is true that the Brits really do know how to make good cookies/deserts, just not too good at putting side dishes with main courses, but I guess I should try it first like I said.

And you can get Jaffa cakes at Morrison's for only 35p! If that isn't a deal I don't know what is. For some reason cookies and such are way cheaper here, yet fast food is more expensive. Morrison's is also my new favorite store by the way. Any place that sells English muffins for 15p is my favorite store. I also really tempted to buy either the Simpsons or Thomas the Tank shaped pasta, I'll get that next week I suppose.

Never got around to the British History Museum. I will next Thursday, although I am quite annoyed. The first time I am in London would be the ONE time in the past 30 years that King Tut is on loan in New York City. I have been obsessed with pharaohs since I was 5, back to when I thought the King Tut exhibit at Busch Gardens was real.And of course the exhibit is leaving New York City in December so I can't even stop after the airport to see the King for a bit.

Also I would like to point out ever since I had my epic break down/trek to find an umbrella in London, it has not rained since last Tuesday. Only I would go a week in the rain and then finally buy an umbrella before a 2 week dry spell. At least I'm not wet.

I'm Lacking Motivation

I know that they told us before we came to the UK, that the British educational system is more hands off then in the US (ie reading more independently), yet I still find it hard to focus. Then again this could be because I am reading Just and Unjust Wars by Michael Waltzer and that in itself will put anyone to sleep. But really I feel like I procrastinate even more here and I procrastinate a lot at home.

Despite Sainsbury's high prices I am in love with their fig rolls. I may have eaten a hole pack of them Saturday night? Cider does that to you trust me. And no it is not old lady-esque to eat fig rolls, like some people have told me. They are really, really good. One thing the Brits have down pat is good cookies and sweets to snack on. On another food related note while waiting for the bus today (which seemed endless) the Oriental Star restaurant looked so good. Had the 13 bus taken a bit longer I may have just gotten take out for dinner instead of eating my leftovers from last night.

This Sunday I did my good day of the week and talked with my family on Skype. I was asked by certain family members (who I will not name here) what kind of cars they drove, if there were bugs here, and is cider really alcoholic and how? I had a whole list of potential questions going into my skype date. Guess I have to be more mentally prepared next time because I had no response to those random questions.

And someone really needs to tell my Greek Pottery Professor (aka Snape) to quick mumbling. Literally it is an hour and a half each week of him just rambling about pots without raising his voice a decibel. The only time he ever seems to make any sense is when he mutters about something wrong about the American twang. This week he told masters students to stop referring to themselves as "masters students" like Americans do. The proper term is MA. I really don't see the big deal, either way I'm still paying a ridiculous amount of money to get an upper level degree. I feel like you can call yourself whatever you want, MA, masters, grad student...

Also, it is really rude to be eating a Whopper on the tube during rush hour, especially when the tube is packed, I'm starving and its juicy, beefy goodness is the only thing I can smell.

I have my first paper due next week for film studies, a film shot analysis. Not really sure which shot I am going to analyze seeing as there is really no plot to any of the movies we watched so far. Today's movie Partie de Campagne, consisted of some girl being wooed in the countryside by some guy while on vacation, only to marry some drunk moron a year later. Not much character or plot development there...

Yes I am rambling, can you tell that I am trying really hard to not read???

Clubbing = Epic Fail

The game plan last night was to go clubbing in Soho. The evening started with the traditional "pre-drinking; I was enjoying some Bulmer's and Henry Weston (which I was calling Uncle Johnny the whole night, don't ask why) cider, but then naturally some mixing ensued. Next thing you know it was 10:30 and we were off for a fun night in Soho, or so we thought...

We first had to go to the bar in order to get wristbands to enter the club we were going to, think by this point we were going to Heaven. The bar played really good music. I was taken back to Al Dyno's History class in 9th grade when "Lose My Breath" by Destiny's Child came on. I got pretty excited I'm afraid to say. The club actually wasn't in Soho we soon realize. It was actually in Charring Cross, not too far from Trafalgar Square, but it was quite a bit of a walk. And then we ended up seeing this massive sea of people about 5-6 people  across wrapped down the alleyway and all around the block. By this point it was 12:30am. There was no way we were getting into Heaven tonight.

So where did we go to spend a fun, happenin Saturday night you ask? Everyone's favorite Scottish restaurant: McDonald's! I was so hungry by this point so I was glad we got food. I had my first Big Mac in years but I swear the burger's were like the size of a hockey puck they were so small. As I was devouring my two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun, I heard the chick next to us arguing with the man sitting next to her. She was American it turns out and the British guy was saying that Obama did not serve in government prior to being elected President. Then chaos ensued, and next thing you know four of us Americans are arguing with him trying to explain to him that yes he did. Now that I am in a proper mental state I can explain this to this man very easily. So this is it: The British term "government" and "administration" are the reversal of what they mean in the US. For example, the "government" in the UK consists of just the Prime Minister and cabinet, whereas in the US it refers to all three branches of government. The "administration" refers to Parliament while in the US it refers to the President and his cabinet. So he was correct if he is using his terminology, but obviously he didn't know jack shit about US politics. Thanks to Harvey Feigenbaum for teaching me that in European Poly Sci.

Then of course he started getting cocky with me and said how the British sacrificed a lot in the American Revolution to which I replied, "well if it wasn't for us during WWII you guys would be speaking German right now so we're even. " Naturally as soon as I said that as there was a lull in the music and noise McDonald's and I started getting really dirty looks. That was my queue to leave...

So clubbing was a bit of a fail, but regardless I had a very fun night! Love it when your night doesn't go according to plan. Makes it more interesting, doesn't it?

Hamlet is The Lion King...

...well I suppose it is more appropriate to say that The Lion King is strongly based on Hamlet. That being said this serves as a critique to the performance of Hamlet I saw last night at the National Theatre. Let me begin by saying that I am by no means a Shakespeare expert other then reading three of his plays in high school in addition to the sonnets. My only knowledge of Hamlet was the brief synopsis Welsh tried to give me once, but I stopped him mid-sentence after I realized that it was basically The Lion King (minus the Elton John music of course).

This was a modern day performance of Hamlet, so it was not performed like it would be if you were to see it at the Globe. I do like that in the fact that I did not have to stand during the performance, which given the typical London weather would have been most likely in the rain. In addition, the modern influences, such as music and the use of mimes during Hamlet's performance to see if his uncle did indeed murder his father added to the confusion. Given the use of old English, I think that in the context of a true Shakespearean setting the average theatre fan, like myself would be better able to understand it.

The first three acts were the quickest two hours of my life I must say. I spent the first act or so trying to correlate every character with their respective Lion King character. That was good because it helped me understand how their character was going to develop over the course of the play, or so at least I thought. Although I did end up spending a few moments thinking what the name was of Simba's mother, who is here represented by Gertrude. (It's Sarabi by the way). 

I would say by the fourth act the similarities between The Lion King and Hamlet totally diverge. Obviously the death of Hamlet is not replicated by Simba's death. Basically everyone else doesn't die at the end of The Lion King except for Scar.

I do have issues with the casting. I spent almost four acts trying to figure out what kind of relation there was between Polonius and Ophelia. Maybe I had missed when they mentioned their relation, but given the fact that GW had us in the last row of the balcony, just by looking at them you wouldn't assume they were related. Polonius was this jolly fat white guy and Ophelia looked like she could have been Iranian or possibly biracial. That being said I was really thrown a curve when Laertes was a black guy. I was able to pick up though that he was Ophelia's brother. The different races added to the confusion, despite the great acting done by the performers. I just couldn't make the connection. It was kind of like when Whoopi Goldberg was in Something Funny Happened on the Way to the Forum.

I thought the acting was great, especially Hamlet's. The only thing that seemed odd was Laertes's reaction to the fact that Ophelia was dead. I know he said he was not going to mourn, but he didn't even come off as stoic. He kind of just stood there, almost seeming like he forgot his lines. Maybe that was just me though...

Overall though I would say that it was a very good performance, and I am glad that I got to see a Shakespeare performance in London. Although it maybe is a tad bit too long, no offense Shakespeare.

Fun fact, while doing the research for this post about what Simba's mother's name was I realized that the voices of Mufasa and Sarabi were James Earl Jones and Madge Sinclair respectively. They also played King Jaffe Joffer and Queen Aoleon in the hilarious Eddie Murphy comedy, Coming To America. Yes I know I procrastinate way to much.

What Is That!?

I needed to vent about this ASAP. I don't get the appeal of white bread, butter, french fries, and ketchup TOGETHER...That is the one thing I will not be trying, sorry British cuisine.

I Survived Narnia

Today I worked up with courage to return to the library after yesterday's painful experience. The only thing getting in my way was the motivation to get out of bed since I don't have classes on Thursdays.Thankfully I remembered that Marie comes in to vacuum. I really find her rude and hate her presence, so that was motivation enough to get to the library. On the tube this Spanish family got on and the little girl ran to sit next to me when all the seats were empty. The Spaniards obviously didn't know I spoke Spanish, so I would like to tell them no wherever they are that yes I do think your daughter rushed to sit next to me because she thought I was "guapo".

I was ready for battle when I got to the library, pathetic I know but I had maps printed out with the specific location of my books, even down to the bookshelf...and I still didn't get it right. I spent 20 minutes looking for Just and Unjust Wars. Attention libraries at the Maughan Library, you don't have your books on the proper shelves. ABC order isn't that hard. I escaped from the library pretty easily, compared to yesterday which made me feel victimized.  I felt so stupid though looking back on it, I didn't realize each room on the 2nd floor had an upper balcony, thats where the book was. Oops... The checking out system was pretty sweet all I had to do was place my card and the books on a scale and it knew my ID and which books I was taking. Take notes GW.

And for those who don't believe how intense this library is, this is it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maughan_Library. Quite fancy huh? The rest of my day was pretty blah, I had to haggle with the receptionist to get the mail because he was taking forever to sort it. My books came so I had to be studious and read today, hence why I am writing this now and not out having a fun Thursday night. I read about 100 pages of Film Art (which my TA says in the most annoying Australian accents, not a fan sorry). Thank god though Welsh came to my rescue and posted N'SYNC songs on my wall, so basically I used that as a means of procrastination for about an hour.

I am on a mission to find a way to watch Phillies' games. Watching ESPN gamecast for free is kinda dull, didn't make Halladay's no hitter exciting. Going to see Hamlet tonight should be fun! And also since I am craving pasta and some good pizza I am going to Rome, December 3-5th! By the time I'm done there, Rome will fall again!

I'm No Longer Wet!

A certain English teacher once told me that organization is the key to success. That is very true I've come to realize. That applies in the literal sense of organizing your belongings but also in the sense of time management. That's my problem. I feel like since I've been here I have had no sense of time management because the commute from Hampstead to Strand for classes is kind of a pain. Some times you can make it there in 30 minutes sometimes it could take almost 50, it all depends on the bus schedule and the traffic on the tubes. More on that in a bit.

Tuesday I didn't have class until 4pm so at 1pm I decided I was going to go buy an umbrella from the shop at my tube stop and then go to Charring Cross to exchange the $110 (70 pounds) I found in my wallet. I get to the shop and there was a wide selection of umbrellas. I didn't think it was actually possible but hey this is London. The woman was showing me ones with long handles, ones made of wood, one that were compact. I responded by asking simply what was the cheapest. The cheapest one was 6 pounds. I only had a 5. They didn't take debit or credit. Next thing you know I am off the Charring Cross minus my umbrella.

Because it was the afternoon, there was no traffic so I got there in 20 minutes. I exchanged my money and then it was only 1:45. I figured I might as well go to the library. And then the drops of rain started falling. I needed an umbrella because I didn't want to be wet or ruin my red Pumas. Everyone knows that I'm not a cheap person, but there is no way in hell I am paying 14 quid for a friggin umbrella. So next thing you know I am BACK on the tube to Hampstead to buy my umbrella. Then on the tube I realize the soup I had for lunch wasn't enough so now I'm hungry. Should have gotten a 2pound meal deal from Tesco. So now I am tired, hungry, and semi-wet on my way to get an umbrella. I get the umbrella at Hampstead, no Tesco's close by. To make matters worse, its now sunny. I bought it for nothing.

So it's now 2:15. At 2:30 I left Hampstead again just so I could go to Strand and get food from Tesco because I was starving. I finally get my meal and  I am about to sit down at long last. Then, there was a fire drill...I can't even eat in peace!

By this point at least I am no longer hungry and no longer wet. But now I'm tired because we had to watch The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari in Film Studies. It's a silent film for 1920. Don't ask me the plot because quite honestly I didn't get it. The last 20 minutes totally came out of no where.

I thought I would have a quite night, but thankfully two of my friends were going out for a drink. We'll five hours and three bars later I was finally on my way home. I needed it though after the day I had (also the larger size pints makes a big difference). It took the pain away of running around London for an umbrella and being hungry, tired, and wet.

So remember kids, organization is the key to success! (Ignore the whole going to the bar scene part if you are under age, I'm not being a good influence in that respect I suppose)

It's Like Hogwarts, Narnia...

Only one class today, and after a cheese and bacon sandwich (which is really good by the way, love me some Tesco 2 Pound Meal Deals), I decided to finally go to the library to check out some books. 

The library is HUGE, literally it is so large it makes GW's libraries combined look like a book mobile. To top it all off there are what seems like endless rooms of just books and books. I swear I was running down numerous corridors looking for a War Studies book, and for some stupid reason I was unable to find the "U" section. Then as I was going into random rooms I would just reach dead ends, turn around and take the stairs...well..the stairs just randomly stop at various floors, depending on the stairwell. Like really I swear this is like Inception or something because this library is such a mindfuck. It's like Hogwarts, Narnia, and any other mythical place that only someone on acid could come up with wrapped up into one. After a half hour of walking and getting lost in random corridors, I had enough. I found a lift thank god and got myself the hell out of there. I need books though so I will be making a return journey tonight. Perhaps I will take pictures to show everyone? If I don't make it out alive I just want to tell you all goodbye and that I love each and every single one of you in your own special way...

Asians (and Snape) Dig Me

So this morning I woke up, and had a banana with some tea. I was minding my own business, reading my Facebook news feed when I received some random message from an Asian guy (or as the British say Chinese, since Asian is in reference to Indians here) complimenting me on my smile and good looks. While I am flattered, who ever you may be, thanks but no thanks. Really... I'm still kind of weirded out by the whole thing.

This morning's commute took longer then usual because we had ourselves a good old tube strike today! It ended up taking me an hour to get to class today since I needed to take the bus. I just don't understand why they went on a one day strike. Are they really protesting the proposed 800 job cuts or did workers associated with Transport for London secretly want a three day weekend?

That guy I spoke of last week who was kind of like Hermione Granger, well he was at it again. Every person who walked into lecture today he had to tell them about how he went to the British Museum this weekend and went to all three wings of the museum: the red, green, and blue. This was followed by a description of what was in each room and the massive dinosaurs and whale they had. Then there was more about going to see Harry Potter and such. By this point me and some of the other people have had enough and are laughing to ourselves. My luck he turned around and asked if I was ok. I just responded, "Yea...allergies, they're killing me..." My laughing soon turned to fake choking and I pretended that my eyes were watery as a result of my "allergies". He didn't seem to notice I was lying. Oh I forgot, throughout this whole speech he was talking in a monotonous voice. Truely adds to the annoyance.

At long last, the moment you have all been waiting for came after War Studies. I had my first class with Snape today! Although I must say, while he does look and sound like Snape, he sure as hell mumbles like Ozzy Osborne. I didn't think it was possible for one to rant on about pottery and the excavation process for two hours without stopping or asking if there were any questions. At one point he asked if anyone knew what the picture on the pot represented about Greek daily life. In order to fill the awkward silence he just went on a mumbled rant about how if we didn't answer he was just gonna continue bantering and that we need to observe then make an informed guess about the significace of the art work. You following all this? I sure wasn't during lecture. I was able to identify that one pot that featured a man, etching the outline of a boy's foot in order to make a shoe. Then of course Snape said, "10 points for Gryffindor". But no honestly he just said very good and continued rambling.

After class I took the bus back again. When I got home I found out the Northern Line actually had service today. I'm just gonna pretend I never heard that.

Today's food section is very short. The only thing food related is that on the bus home I saw a Chinese take away restaurant (Brits say take away not take out). I have been craving General Tso's chicken ever since.

Also, I saw that some buses have the minions from Despicable Me displayed all over them. I am determined to ride one of them!

I Really REALLY Need an Umbrella

My umbrella broke. I think one could survive longer without a kidney then without an umbrella in London; that's how often it rains. My mission today was to get an umbrella from Sainsbury's. I walked in and decided I wasn't going to go searching since it is the closest thing to Walmart here and the UK. I also didn't want to get separated from my friends so I asked one of the workers. She replied they were out until next week. How the bloody hell does a supermarket in London of all places run out of umbrellas!? I'm still kind of in shock that they were out of them. That should be in the checkout aisle along with the candy bars, tabloid magazines, and soda.

With umbrella searching being an epic fail, I decided to walk  through the supermarket while everyone else shopped. Shopping on a Sunday is worse then senior citizen discount day in the US given the massive amount of shoppers. Literally every single line was backed up with customers. In the aisles was even more crazier. I've come to realize here that PDA isn't really taboo. Personally I'm not a fan, no matter how in love I am. In addition I really don't want to see middle aged people snogging in front of the pasta sauce either. Not a turn on for me, but whatever. But in all seriousness, I've seen people making out waiting for the tube, in pubs, in stores. It's something that is quite more common here then in the US.

Since it was Sunday, I took part in a traditional Sunday roast dinner. I supplied the baking pan for the brownies, which we ended up eating before dinner. We had a roast chicken from Sainsbury's. I have been smelling them for two weeks now so I'm really glad we got one. In addition we also had Yorkshire pudding, roasted potatoes, and carrots. I am fascinated with British stuffing because it is nothing like ours. They use breadcrumbs and there does not seem to be as much vegetables in it, but nevertheless it is still really good. I'm gonna have to show everyone real stuffing on Thanksgiving.

I have to end this on a sad note though, tonight at the pub quiz our team, Jumpy the Pig, lost. So sadly somewhere out there Jumpy is being roasted. (The name came from some Pig Jump game that is free on the Ipod Touch). The little pig in the game is so cute, and its addicting. Don't judge me...

Not looking forward to the tube strike tomorrow, so that means I get to take the bus to class!

Escape From the Tower of London

When you are a single college student on a fixed income it's pretty rough. When you are a single college student on a fixed income and living abroad in a country where the dollar is not so hot it's even harder... and then GW decided to take us out for a Saturday afternoon filled with numerous free stuff! So in an essence this day killed two birds with one stone. I got to do touristy stuff at a price I could afford.

The hardest part of the day was quite honestly being at Trafalgar Square at 9am. Luckily it was a sunny morning for once and perfect for a walking tour. Our tour guide (Mark I think?) was pretty good, he showed us around the square and then took us near Buckingham Palace. Probably the most notable thing he showed us was the site of the beach volleyball at the 2012 Olympics. It's literally next to the park outside Buckingham Palace and next to the garden of Number 10 Downing Street. (That would be the home of the Prime Minister David Cameron for Americans who don't know their own governor let alone the PM of Great Britain).

After Mark's great tour we were on a boat! Going down the River Thames, which apparently is one of the cleanest urban rivers to the point that it is starting to form sand on the beaches. I'm still not taking chances. By this point I was so hungry since it was 12, and to add insult to injury the boat driver is calling the really cool oval shaped building in London the Gerken because it looks like a pickle...

Then we finally had lunch once we got to the Tower of London. For being there almost 1,000 year its in pretty good shape. When it comes to the murder mystery of the two princes in line to the British throne, Richard III so did it. End of discussion. And the Queen, now she has some bling. The crown jewels were pretty damn impressive.

And as always I'm getting to the food. It dawned on me during my meal that typical British food is no different then what evreryone on the Food Network labels "comfort food". For example, my lunch consisted of King's Ale Pie (a beef meat pie with gravy and onions), a vegetable mix of peas, onions, and onions, and french fries (or chips). For desert I had sponge cake with  a filling that was a less sweeter butter cream. I mean thats really no different then when on a rainy day you just wanna sit on the couch, watch some TV rerun marathon and eat mac and cheese or some sort of warm hearty dish that soothes the soul. And given the weather here, I feel like I'll be doing that quite often.

Since, our boat trip was free for the entire day. I decided to go with my fellow Phillies fan Caitie up to Greenwich and see the Prime Meridian.By this point the rain that dominated the day was replaced by overcast skies and of course, you betcha...rain. Never really thought there would be such a line just to see a line.Joe Dymond would be so proud seeing me stand in both the Eastern and Western Hemisphere.

Posted throughout are some pics from the day: Site of beach volleyball near Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, Tower of London, and the Prime Meridian.

I'm All Wet

A great (and I mean legend...wait for it...DARY) CBC guide, when in response to Harrison Ford said, "I'm all wet!" Well KCL and London make me feel the same because after the past few days I am indeed all wet! Yesterday I was lazy and didn't want to do laundry. Naturally I would wait until the rainy day to do laundry when yesterday it was sunny all afternoon. Then of course I don't pay attention to the signs and once I get there I realize they don't take 5p coins, only 10p and up, so I had to run all the way back in the rain to get more change. For all you GW people, the laundry room is in another building so its like walking from Ivory to New Hall (no its not Amsterdam), but luckily the area is residential so not everyone gets to see my dirty laundry and such. Laundry is the one thing cheaper in the UK. It only costs 1.20 for wash, which is comparable to in the US given the exchange rate, but drying is 20p for 15min cycles,which you can always add more.

There was really no reason for the GW info session in all honesty. I was WET because I got lost finding the place as usual, plus my umbrella broke and Sainsbury's didn't have any. I don't understand how thats possible. This is England for god's sake. Although GW more then made up for it with dinner at Taz, a Turkish resturaunt. It was completely free and the food was so good. There was endless bread with appetizers including hummus and tibouli and some other dishes. Then I got moussaka for dinner and then finally for desert we had bhakalava and some apricot dish. The espresso wasn't bad, the sugar cubes didn't really break up so it was really sweet at the bottom Best meal I've eaten so far and it was a price I can afford: free! Finally the tuition money is reaping its benefits.

Passed on going to Koko tonight, but tomorrow GW is taking us on a walking tour of London, then a river boat ride down the Thames, lunch, and a tour of the Tower of London all for free! Oh how I love free stuff, makes it well worth staying in and giving my wallet (and liver) a night off...